Thursday, September 15, 2016

Heyy its 2k16 already?!

To delete this account/blog was the last thing I had in mind, but today I had a thought of doing it. I googled the proper way to delete it permanently but as I went through some of my posts, I think it would be insane and i might regret in the future. So here I am, giving a new breath to this blog.

Oh Lord... I miss blogging so much.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

What Makes You Happy?

What makes you happy?
A delicious chocolate moist cake?
A text from a hunky sexy handsome hot crush?
A simple and brief call from your lovely mom or dad?
Looking at someone's misery?

Ok the last one isn't intended at all. haha. but if it was u, please repent! LOL

Anyway, i asked myself this question for a few days ago. I have been through quite a lot - a broken relationship, academic struggle, family problems and so many more. My life sounds so pathetic right? yup it does, but why am i still here and pretend like everything is alright? You can ask people surrounding me, they will be never or least expect that i could have a lot of misery because i always being positive and cheerful in front of everyone. (angkat bakul). I should reward myself as The Best Supporting Actor of The Year. (I am short, I cannot be the hero).

One that really affected me the most is my previous relationship. I never tell anyone about this as i don't think it is that important. But really, having the break up and all stuff really really really affect me a lot. I couldn't move on for 2 months and I thought I would be able after some period but the feeling came again after quite some times, you know after the culprit contacted you again. You thought you could make things work out again but it was a major failure as in the end, one party would get hurt. In this case it was me.

I am not trying to share my lovey dovey and sad life story but I wanna relate to what I am trying to say. I once seek happiness from the relationship I had, not anything else. Once it was over, I found it was so freaking hard to start all over again and pick myself up. I was so stupid for not realizing that I have something else to take care or someone that would still care for me. In fact, it took over half a year for me to really accept the truth that everything was over. So between that period, I wasn't happy at all. I went to the gym with my friends, shopping, jungle trekking, bowling and do anything to distract myself in hoping I could easily move on. Nevertheless, it was wasted. I was still not happy. One day I realized, I was trying to run away and not deal with the issue. The moment I decided to deal with it was the moment I felt the burden was lifted up. I feel free and always get ready to forgive.

What I am trying to say is that, we ourselves are responsible with our own happiness. We have the power to choose our own path for that particular moment, to live majestically or miserably. It's your choice. At some point, you gotta realize what makes you happy and what is not. Try your best to avoid those NOTs. Don't dwell in them. Be courages and patient. I know it is not easy but we gotta be matured. Do not act like a 5 years old kid anymore.

p/s: Thank goodness i finished all the assignments and Melzie loves to wear dresses to church nowadays. haha its been 3 years plus since the last time we went to church together. Kurlazz ko Melzie!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Shah Alam 1.0

Hi hello anyyeong!

Oh my, i almost forgot that i do have a blog. Lol. Anyway how are you guys?
*being paranoid - is there any reader here*

I have started my new life in Shah Alam. This is my 3rd week. So far, everything is going smooth. The lectures could be tough sometimes because i changed my major. Hahahaha. Yup i do change it! I thought it could be fun. I love it of course, excluding the laws and regulations of environmental. Lol

Have a good day!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


I know I have strayed a lot but it is too much for me to handle. Hopefully you will realize it someday and offer a helping hand.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

here i am mumbling

It's quite a long time since my last update here. I guess the passion of writing or blogging fades away. I have no idea on what to write or share here. If you wanna know about my life, it's getting miserable day by day. I keep choosing the wrong path in my life and it leads to destruction..i guess. Speaking of this, I woke up this morning wanted to scream and shout until I lost my voice. I started to tear up but I hold it. Few moments later, it couldn't be held and it started to burst. Well I admit that I am not that strong as I thought.

This is not what I picture my life. I just want to finish my studies, getting my dream job, helping my family, travel all around the world and etc. To think back, there are 2 reasons why I keep miserable; first I still cannot let go of my past and second I knew you a year ago. Yes it's you. You made my life to turn upside down. It's not like you gonna find this blog though. 

I was warned by my own instinct to keep the distance but I just ignored it. Look, I received the consequences already. Knowing you at the first time enlightened me; there are so many similarities and at the same time I felt we are compliment to each other. oh damn, I don't wanna talk about you. kasi menyirap saja.

I don't wanna speak hatred. but I really wanna pour everything out. Everyone seems so busy, tried to connect with them but most of the time was a fail. I guess I better let the problem rot by itself. Sigh, pseudo-bestfriend sungguh.

Anyway, you.... all the best & I wish a happiness throughout your life. 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Happy Malaysia Day my fellow Malaysians! This morning I came across this interesting article,so I guess it's better for me to share it here. :)

They are our brothers and sisters from Sabah and Sarawak, but do we really know them? With Malaysia Day approaching, I ask several Sabahans and Sarawakians about things other Malaysians may not know about them – some amusing notes, some random points, and other facts they really wish those in Peninsula Malaysia would remember. One thing that all of them brought up was that Sabah and Sarawak never “joined Malaysia” - as many Malaysians always say - and that the two, along with Singapore and Malaya, formed the Federation of Malaysia as equal partners on September 16, 1963.
  • They are irritated that their fellow Malaysians do not know Sabah and Sarawak were once independent countries themselves. Therefore they were not joining ‘states’ in the way other Peninsula states are, but rather ‘states’ as in sovereign territories. Therefore when Malaysia advertisements frequently emphasise the ‘Malay, Chinese, Indian’ mix as a point of national unity, that leaves East Malaysians understandably peeved.
  • It is common to find Malay-sounding names and even ‘bin’ and ‘binti’ in the names of people who are not Muslim. Don't assume things based on names or surnames, West Malaysians! Intermarriages are pretty common, says Jaswinder Kler, who works for an NGO. “It is normal to have families with Christians, Muslims, Buddhists and even pagans in the mix. Everyone gets together, everyone's happy.”
  • Many Sarawakians think food in Peninsula Malaysia is a bit too spicy. They like their spice, but in a more balanced way – food with sweetness and sourness, with a tinge of spice. “Personally I have had to suffer every time I eat at the mamak stalls there, before my stomach can acclimatize to the food. Chili here and there! Sayur pun ada kari kah?”, says journalist Dennis Wong. He adds though, that Sarawakians love nasi lemak from West Malaysia, as he thinks its much better there.
  • Some folks from West Malaysia still actually think that some Sabahans and Sarawakians live on trees, which annoys them to no end. One would think the questions would come from foreigners, but they come from fellow Malaysians, and it still happens.
  • East Malaysians take pride in the fact that they are of various ethnicities and tribes who can live with each other peacefully. Homes in Mukah, the Melanau heartland, for example, often have two kitchens – one halal and the other, non-halal. “No big deal,” they say, as they have been living like that for centuries. Malay stalls operate inside Chinese-owned coffee shops, next to the other stalls selling non-halal food, and it’s no cause for hysterics.
  • The highest peak in South East Asia does not belong to Mount Kinabalu, but Hkakabo Razi in Myanmar. Shock, horror! It seems that many Sabahans have known it was only the fifth highest mountain in South East Asia for some time now.
  • Kuching in Sarawak is not named after cats, despite what tourism brochures say. Kuching was named after a small tributary that no longer exists – Sungai Mata Kucing – which refers to theDimocarpus longan growing in the area. Cat in the Sarawak Malay language is called pusa, not ‘kucing’.
  • West Malaysians who complain about the immigration checks they have to go through when they enter Sabah and Sarawak do not realise that the controls are due to historical reasons – points of agreements with the two independent states on autonomy at the time of Malaysia’s formation. It basically also limits West Malaysians from taking over jobs or tracts of land there.
  • If many West Malaysians already think filling the ‘Melayu/Cina/India/Dan Lain-Lain’ box is a pain, it is something more resented by East Malaysians. With 32 ethnic groups and Muslims who do not identify as Malays, these boxes are hard to tick. “My husband for example, is a Muslim who is a pure Bisaya from the Kadazandusun stock,” says Jaswinder. “If forced to, he would have to tick ‘Dan Lain-Lain’. At my husband's kampung, they all wear the tudung and baju kurung, but they mainly speak Bisaya and enjoy sago as a substitute to rice.”
  • Things are pretty laid back and chilled in East Malaysia, even when it comes to traffic and driving. A friend in Sarawak says that there are traffic signs in Kuching that go ‘Turn left when the exit is clear’. This is unlike the rule in other parts of Malaysia, where you only turn when the lights are green.
  • East Malaysians are quite open about asking others what their ethnicities are. A Sarawakian friend who preferred not to be named, said he found it more awkward asking West Malaysian friends what their ethnicity was. “They often feel uncomfortable identifying themselves, and I know some who'd just say ‘I'm a Malaysian’, he said, although he understands that this is because people have become more politically conscious in urban areas. But “in the outskirt settlements, ethnicity is like a cloth you wear and it's common to hear "Kami Penan memang suka pergi memburu" or "Ini lah kami Dayak punya budaya...”, he said.
  • The last point may be quite apparent from some already stated, but East Malaysians think West Malaysians seem to get offended very easily.
Know any more points about Sabah or Sarawak that West Malaysians are unaware of? Do sound them off in your comments, and Happy Malaysia Day, fellow Malaysians!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

and hello again!

Wowwwwwwwww.. I couldn't remember when was my last time I updated my blog. I lost the passion in writing this blog. I used to be so passionate about blogging but now I'm just so and so..huhu.

Anyway, I have a chance to update this so here is what I want to share.

I got my 3rd semester result. It was superbbbb!! PRAISE THE LORD! I didn't expect to get that kind of result considering I struggled with a few papers and the time table for final was just ridiculous! But God is good! His love and goodness is everlasting. I admit it, I might have messed up a little bit but it's a part of my journey. A journey without any obstacle is not a fun journey right?..haha.. Credits to my friends who were helping me throughout the semester and for those who were praying for me too; Melissa Nuah and Ricky Rack. Oh yeah, Pastor Dave too! He called me on Easter Day and prayed via phone. :) Thanks a lot guys!

Harvest Festival is around the corner and I am not sure whether I should feel happy or sad. I am neutral I guess. I am not enjoying it actually but I really enjoyed myself watching people enjoying the festival. :)

I saw a post in Facebook saying that some of my friends have been baptized twice. I started to think if I could do it too because my first baptism was so sudden. I didn't go for classes. A friend of my mom just called my mom one early morning telling my mom to get me ready. So, I don't really get it then. It's just a ritual for me. I need to ask someone now. :/

ehm..I think that's it :)


Friday, March 29, 2013

Happy Good Friday!

Hello everyone! So it's Good Friday and at this moment I'd like to wish to everyone in this world who is celebrating it, HAVE A HAPPY AND BLESSED GOOD FRIDAY. :D

So, I have been noticing church activities lately; my hometown church. They are going to act a scenery on what happened 2000 years ago, the reason why we're celebrating Good Friday. The same thing they did on Christmas every single year. The youths will be acting based on the bible story.

So, here is my question, don't you feel bored doing the same thing at least twice in a year?..Not to condemn or being blasphemous here. but seriously, speaking as a youth who is thirsty with God's love, I don't think acting out the same plot all over again every year will be the effective way to attract people to God's house especially to young people. It can be for fun, of course. But how about those who feel lonely, abandoned and abused? Do they understand what the plots are about? (unless they have red the bible).

For those who are having a hard time, it is very hard to receive the positivity of the story. Don't go to the surface. Why don't just try go deeper?

Let me put into this, Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection (or even the birth of Him) taught us about Hope and Love. We can use those element to act a play based on daily life problems. Not necessarily exactly on what happened 2000 years ago. Maybe we could act a play about a teen boy who lost everything in his life; girlfriend, studies, family and so many more. He almost committed suicide but one day he met a friend of him, a childhood friend. The meeting changed everything. They way he saw his life. They way he thought about himself. Finally he found a hope to survive. (This is just a short plot). Then at the end of the play, someone can explain and relate the story to the very reason why are we celebrating the good day. By doing this, people can feel closer to church. The church somehow shows the interest in someone's life. This can make them to think and consider and who knows, the Holy Spirit might speak to them? :)

Don't you think it's beautiful?

It's about tradition actually. Most people don't like changes or improvements. They feel comfortable on what they have and a little change might cause them to be uncomfortable because of the mindset. Try to think outside the box. Try to be a church that people can feel related and close. If the church started to care about the people (not the church money or so on), people would start to change their perspectives about the church.

Be a church that people can feel like family not a place to go every Sunday. Be an attentive and loving church because nowadays people start to get further from the church. Just be the church that is a Christ centered. full stop. This is what people miss nowadays.

Anyway, I hope one day, the Christian leaders would take this seriously. Youths are not an easy thing. Don't take them for granted. Try to nurture them from the very beginning. Most importantly, please please please break the barrier or boundary among every single group. There's only one Jesus.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

My Status

Hey we meet again here! I guess I'm quite free to spend my time here. That's true when people said once you became a student, lack-of-time is not uncommon. I barely have enough time to rest. The only time I rest is my beauty sleep time, from 12.30 midnight to around 7.30 am. The rest is just me doing something. Lol

I realized that I've been abandoning this blog for quite a some time. I made a promise to myself once not to leave or abandon this site decaying but I failed to keep my promise. Punish me universe! hahaha..

Ehmm...recently I keep thinking about my status as a 'single' or bachelor :p. I came to realize that, perhaps I am insecure due to my age. People becoming old and old day by day and so do I. When I see around, my friends are in a relationship, some have already getting married and some even already have kid! (this is cute). See, the peer pressure really gets me. Lol

After all, maybe the problem is me myself. I am afraid to start any relationship because I am afraid I can't give a full commitment towards the relationship. Plus, I have a past that resist me to have a relationship with a girl, mostly about trust.  Well, I did pray about this sometimes because I don't really prioritize this matter. When I see at different perspective, I think this is crucial. I need someone to back me up and support me in intimate kind of stuff. 

Well, I still have a lot of things to be considered. If I really need a partner, I'd definitely find one in the future.

p/s: I might look like a 16 years old boy when I shaved, but hey I'm 22 this year. ~_~

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Kehidupan yang sangat sibuk 2 3 hari ni. Anyway, am not gonna give up easily. Chaiyok Willy!!