w.i.l.y.n.s.t.e.e

Specially For You...

2012-01-23T17:10:00.001+08:00

My sister and I used to love this song very much. Both of us would always play this song whenever we were sweeping the floor. haha.. We took turn to sweep the floor but most of the times, I would do the most job..=.='

Anyway, we really love this song. We would sing this song together sometimes and she would play the guitar. I'm the worst brother ever, I was defeated by my younger sister in playing any music instrument. She can play the guitar very well, not just the guitar, the drum also! I would make noises whenever I played the drum. ~~Pathetic brother...~~

The truth is, I would rather choose to be in that moment, the moment when we sang and spent time together, compare to my current situation. I realized that, I found peace and calmness whenever we spent time together. I feel guilty for not being the true biological brother that she deserved. She hurts a lot. She hurts a lot when she was a little kid. She doesn't deserved to be treated like that. Although all the family labelled her as the most stubborn child, I don't always put the blame on her. Everyone sees what is in front of them, not behind them.

The moment we spent together is the moment I saw an innocent cute pretty and lovely girl. She is not bad at all. She wants to be listened not to be condemned. Although in many cases people would point her, but I chose to not be their clan. I became her defender, although I didn't know who was the true culprit. I just want to show her that even 1000 people try to bring her down, I can be that 1 person that hold her and cling to her. She doesn't need to find someone else outside there.

Once again, I feel that I've failed to become the best brother. I failed to say that I love her, in fact I never try , not even once. Because I prefer to use actions to manifest my love. Hopefully she will realize, someday.

I guess this song will always be our favorite song. Lead Me To The Cross...(lead us to the cross Lord)

p/s: I think this is the most emotional post I ever wrote.

-Blessings-

How to spell H-E-C-T-I-C

2012-01-21T10:34:00.002+08:00

This week has been a tough week so far, an extremely hectic week since I came here. Not to mention all the assignments and lab reports, I just talked about Microbe association in this case. The truth is, I don't really like to have a post in any association, I've been there and done that since a primary school. Being just a normal exco to a president, from a librarian to a prefect, I have felt every inch of the experiences. I don't intend to say that I have been perfected throughout this journey. It's just that, sometimes I just want to be a normal person without any post in front of my name. Besides, I love to give a chance to a new person to lead.

This week was really tough, so far... I couldn't imagine what would happen next week when the actual grand event will be held. This is just a preparation but I already felt the tension. Getting a command in last minute was a habit for this week. Not to mention that I have to type and prepare all the formal letters until late at night so that for the next morning, everything would be cleared up. Did I tell you that I'm so terrible in writing a formal letter? in Malay some more!..okok, I'm learning this! The funny thing happened this week: I took a short course of writing a formal letter with a Setiausaha Agung MPP UiTM. We didn't plan any class, it happened spontaneously while he was joining the meeting. Actually I'm really glad that he taught me the format and how to write the best formal letter, indicates that I still have a lot to learn..haha..I realized that he is approachable, no wonder why he has been elected as such a busy post.

Thank you abang!!!..eh wait, I think you're younger than me..lol

I should stop whining. They put their trust on me so I have to grab the responsibility without any burden! Well, I hope for the best, the success of this event. I have channeled a lot of energy and sacrificed my bed time just to make sure my work done. So guys, I don't want any drama anymore. Do pity me a bit or at least, pity our President! ..:)

Alright, well throughout this hectic week, I received a call all the way from India. Guess who?.... It was Ling CJ! haha...really glad to hear her voice again. Thanks for listening and don't skip your classes CJ..:p

-Blessings-

I should quit...perhaps

2012-01-17T09:01:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wonder, let say one day you would disappear from this world as if God erased you from everyone's memory? And you started to realize, is there any people in the world, at least one person would ever think about you or remember about you just in all of a sudden? Am I still exist in this mortal world? or am I being not visible enough? It's weird right for being not visible enough. There's no such thing of invisible people unless you're a Marvel hero, a mutant or something like that, but it's totally not real.

I do care about the people around me, around my life. Sometimes, I'm being 'too' care as someone in their life and I do feel people take me for granted. This realization hurts me a lot and how I wish this is completely wrong. I don't know, it's just my personality or my desire to see people around me smile and happy. Is it wrong to be that kind of person, a person who wish to see his friends feel happy 24/7?

Or, is it my fault for not contacting you guys for the past few weeks although I've been active enough to update my life previously (before I was MIA) with the hope you could detect my feelings and circumstances? Or am I being hypocrite here?

I just........fed up. You do not know a thing about me. This is what I feel although we have been knowing each for other quite a long time but yeah, no offense. I guess our best moments together would be insignificant perhaps. I can take it... but please, stop doing this, I believe there would be another me in your life and do treat that person nicely. It's hard to get things clear for the second attempt.

It bothers me a lot actually. Everyone wants to be loved not to be forgotten. I guess I should stop pretending to be the one who needs everything, although I'm not. Probably I must get this into my mind, we are all growing up and we have our own separate life. Do contact me whenever you are ready or sober enough to see the differences now.

I'm quit.

back To Basic

2012-01-12T12:25:00.001+08:00

I guess, I'm returning back to basic lately. Busy with my tons of responsibilities. Go to bed quite late and sometimes, not consistent. Well, I've been in this situation before but I stop 'practicing' it few years ago..hehe. And I'm not used to this kind of lifestyle, so far, after few months of hibernation. Anyway, life never been that simple all the time but I thank God for great accompany I have here..:)

Although I am pretty stress about all the works that have to be done before the deadline, but I have to persevere in order for me to upgrade myself to be a better person. 21 is not a joke! Yup, I'll be 21 in next few months and trust me, the time will fly super duper fast. There will be a moment in the future that I'll realize that,'eh tomorrow is my birthday la...'..hahaha..Sweet 21!

I do miss my friends from a secondary school and A-Level batch. But sometimes I wonder whether they feel the same way too. No news, no story, no update came straight to me.... Or at least no HI on my Facebook wall. I always be the initiator and sometimes I wish to be the receiver. Honestly, I don't always feel comfortable to be the one that initiates something. Yaa, probably all the people were so busy, but that would make no difference at all. I AM ALSO A STUDENT.

This sounds so condemning... but yeah, no offense..

My life would be super duper busy after this. Final is just around the corner and the syllabus is not even completed yet. Carnivals are hunting us & it's not easy to be one of the higher exco, meeting almost every night. I think I'll have to be still!..have to!..haha

Alright, I think my life would be so dull without the existence of my classmates, or supposedly friends..haha..XD
Being the elder is a fun though, they obey my commands..haha..I respect their perspectives too..:)
And yeah.... Congratulations Danial!!!!! Band 4 MUET, that's awesome!!

Will try to update more..:)

-Blessings-

Ehmm..that would be interesting..

2012-01-04T22:28:00.002+08:00

Well...sometimes we're driven by something

2011-12-31T17:53:00.000+08:00

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.

I have typed quite a long post for this.. But yup I have deleted it in the last minute. I don't know, I think I'm not that ready..... or maybe inspired (this is more appropriate). Sorry to all my readers and friends. There is no 'useful' post for this new year..><'

Blessed Christmas!

2011-12-26T10:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a Christmas and it was fun though..^^

Although the journey to Sunway Resort from my lovely campus was extremely far and tiring but it was paid off. The feeling of meeting someone important in our life cannot be compared to any other thing...and of course to celebrate His birthday too..hehe.. Too many tests throughout the journey, even the journey back to campus from Sunway also, I was tested. But it was something that I should experience and the privilege to experience it during Christmas was something that is so valuable..:)

Yeah...for this year Christmas, I was looking forward to meet some of my best-friends. Ehmm...probably I should consider them as my family, yup, there are my family indeed, bonded in Christ name..haha.. Meeting someone like Pr.Dave, Kuan Cheen and Ming Sheng has been my prayer since 1 month ago. I prayed earnestly for this! haha.. God is good, He knows what I need. Been talking for a while, although it was just for a while, but it was meaningful. The most precious moment was to receive a hug from them..haha.. Everyone knows I love to hug and to receive hug..:)

This Christmas, I learnt something new.. Something that I should have learnt since a long time ago. However, God's timing is always the best and I appreciate it so much. I can't wait for the next Christmas, am waiting what lesson should I learn again..:D

p/s: this year, I was celebrating alone without my awesome BFF but I pray wherever you are, you are blessed with abundant blessings from heaven..Amen

Pr.Dave & I..we look super duper cute here

hahaha

Am waiting for Ahjumma to reply to this..:p

Campus Life Update

2011-12-24T00:49:00.002+08:00

Yup..this is the only view that will appear almost every morning on my way to class. It is beautiful indeed & I love every single moment of watching and observing it. This is just a normal day. I have a set of pictures taken when it was raining early in the morning and the mist was thick. Due to a non-stop rain, the mist remained unchanged or perhaps became thicker even until evening. Wow! That was the 1st time I saw that kind of phenomenon. It was beautiful...........and cold of course..haha.. Sorry, I'm unable to upload it here. maybe next time..;)

I'm still remember the first time I stepped into this place. My emotions were blended became one unknown feeling..hatred, dislike and some negative mind sets. I complained a lot about this place. I complained to my leaders, I complained to my bestfriends. In short, I kept complaining for the first two weeks in this place. What I can say, my mind was full with tons of negative thoughts.

However, it changed over times. From time to time, I started liking it. Probably because I have found some people who can share the happiness and sadness together. I made quite a number of friends here. Ironically, almost all the people here know me but sadly, I don't even know their name. Oh my, I'm so bad!..haha..The plan to keep my profile low have ruined after the orientation. Almost all of them know me and I don't know how and why. I didn't really stand out back then compare to some people. I've set my mind to become passive for the whole week but I just don't get it how they could recognize me..o.O

So, it started to get busy now. Assignments, tutorials, homework just WOW!!!!..Not even one of them loves to let me alone for this holidays..haha.. Well, I really need to manage my time wisely now, holding a post in (well I was just elected as a secretary, blame all my classmates!) Microbiology Society in my campus is not that easy job. A few hours after the election, we were given a long-and-old project in which,yes, I have to be there whenever there was a meeting or my president needs me. Due to this busyness of this few days, the president and I became closer like brothers..^^..He's younger than me, he's polite, to summarize everything, he's just sweet!..haha..Whenever I received a text from him, I'd definitely know there would be another work for me..=.='

Haha..I'm not complaining...lol.. Anyway, the Christmas is tomorrow. Wait! tomorrow?..wow, time flies so fast. It was just like yesterday I was celebrating with my family. But for this year, I will be celebrating it separately from my family. For me it's ok. Jesus is the reason for Christmas..:)

For this year Christmas, I'll be celebrating in Sunway together with my Acts family. Can't wait the day to worship the day of my Best-Friend borned..:)

-Blessings-

Not So Favorable Week...

2011-12-15T14:37:00.000+08:00

This week is not an easy week & it's not even end yet. I still have few more days to enter a new brand week! Within this week, I lost 2 of my valuable & favorite things. It happened on Monday actually, a new day to start a bright week but mine was not that bright. When I was about to go to my first class, I was deeply shocked! I didn't see my shoes on the rack. It's my favorite shoes! My favorite leather shoes which have 3cm insoles! The only reason why I like about the shoes is that it makes me look taller..haha.. Back to the story, yup...I couldn't think of any culprit as I really had no idea. I didn't remove it from my shoe rack or put it on to church. So where was my freaking shoes????????

Fed up with what had happened, I called my friend asking for any shoes to borrow. Thank God he has one pair. ^^...The size almost the same but I didn't really feel comfortable wearing it for the whole day. At least, I should be grateful having & wearing that only shoes. Yup I was! Then to make story more interesting, something that I didn't expect happened.

When I went back from the faculty building, that means I have finished my class, surprisingly I saw my shoes on the shoe rack! So I was wondering, what happened this morning? Did my shoes have escaped to another dimension or what??..o.O....... So, after a few observations, I noticed that, there was a dirt on the shoe soles. Well I could predict who was the culprit but I don't want to create another problem. I don't have any problem with people using my stuff but at least, do ask my permission first. It's not that difficult though..

It was just the first incident. Next, I found that I lost my broadband yesterday..=.='...... Not again! Yeah...it happened. It is similar but not the same story. My broadband don't return to his owner so far, so I guess maybe or perhaps, someone stole it..><

There is no point of making a report here, yeah you understand it so much...No elaborations needed. Losing a broadband was like a trial to separate me from the outside world. I don't know what happen to the world or at least to Malaysia. I don't know who is celebrating his or her birthday today. I can't access 9GAG some-more, my only entertainment source!..huhu.. Using a campus WiFi isn't something that I've been looking forward. It is slow....of course & why did you block a Twitter?..=.='...At least I still able to access my Facebook account...Oh what a week..

I told my dad about what had happened. I asked him to terminate the broadband service. Hopefully he is able to do so as the broadband actually is under my name..

This week, I learnt how to forgive my enemy..

Another lesson of 2nd greatest commandment....

-Blessings-

Life Plan

2011-12-13T08:24:00.002+08:00

LIFE PLAN...

Love

Laugh

Pray

Eat

Work

Give

Rest

Repeat

But the most important thing is LOVE...(in my opinion)..^__^
I just love it...

Awesome Video

2011-12-05T18:23:00.001+08:00

When normal human beings were able to do such an amazing deed to another human, you couldn't imagine how God is able to provide and love you. His love is unconditional and only you can experience the love. This video is super duper cool, spare your time to watch & reflect yourself. What would you ask God for this Christmas?..:)

God is able.....

2011-11-30T21:05:00.001+08:00

Discipling

2011-11-30T21:02:00.001+08:00

(^o^)v

I Simply Want To Upload Some Pictures

2011-11-29T17:19:00.001+08:00

We both look good here..hehe

Love everything about this picture except for Gyver's expression..=.=

I look a little bit older here...I love it actually..urghh..I started missing my 'kids'..haha

People called us Diva but the truth is I'm the most discreet..Problem?..:)

Totally candid..This is awesome!

This was my 1st attempt to give a speech for our graduation in CF.

It was an epic fail!

5 awesome people!..hahaha..oh ya, it's Amy's birthday today!..the girl with white shirt..^^

Well....this picture always been my favorite..grow up faster ya..:)

Hello...

2011-11-26T09:27:00.001+08:00

I seem so hardworking enough to update my blog almost every single time.
I guess I'm not that busy after all..hahaha
The only classes that are available for this week are Maths & English.
So, yeah..I'm not really that busy..:)

However, I don't take this lightly, no class = no study.
NO!
Although most of the classes have been cancelled, I set up my mind to study all by myself currently.
I feel that I've been left behind for so many miles by all the people.
So I need to exert a force to synchronize with all the people.
This is not #kiasu.
This is a fight!..hahahaha

I still have few more minutes indeed.
Planning to go to Kuala Pilah, just to get familiar to the surrounding.
This place, ~~my campus~~, worse than ~~KTT~~ in term of location.
But for the facility, I think ~~KTT~~ can't beat my campus..hahahaha
Not to talk bad about my former campus, but this is the general truth..:p
This campus even has a Western Restaurant in which ~~KTT~~ should be working on it..:p

I have a holiday for Christmas for about a week.
But I don't think I'd be going back to Bintulu.
Such a short holiday..=.=
Perhaps I'll be staying here and attending Christmas Play in Acts Church..^^

Unproductive Day

2011-11-23T16:26:00.001+08:00

It's been an unproductive day today.
There's only 1 class although Wednesday is supposed to be packed.
But with unavailability of some lecturers & unprepared lab, the classes must be cancelled.
T____T
Great!
I don't know what to do.
We still don't know what books should we use for this whole semester.
So, I was trapped in my room lying down on my bed doing nothing.
Sometimes I slept but it is so not good.
If I have the books to be used for this semester, at least I could study by myself.
So, my time could be used properly and it is fruitful.
But in this case.........
I don't know how to respond..=.='

God please bring revival to this place!
hahahaha...

-Blessings-

New Journey

2011-11-21T18:44:00.001+08:00

Hey you...
It's been quite a long time since my last post.
Have been freaking busy with my new campus life.
The orientation was so unlikeable..haha
Honestly, I don't like it!
It's way too much different from the one that I had in KTT.

Yup...this is the new beginning & it will be my new journey too.
If I was given a choice, I didn't want to pursue me studies in this place.
But I leave everything unto God, He knows the best.
For the first few days, I was so pressured for no reason.
The only thing in my mind was I HATE THIS PLACE.
I tried to become optimist but I just couldn't.
I remembered the first day, when Pr.Dave was about to leave me.
From the outside, I was manifesting to let him go but actually I was begging for him not to leave me alone in this place from the inside.
huhu..
Seriously, I wanted to cry when he was leaving.
He even asked me whether I was okay or not if he left me alone.
From that moment, I just couldn't control myself somehow but I did at the end.
He prayed for me and offered his best comfy hug.
That was just so comforting.
Anyway, I'm not going to whine all the time about this place.
God has put me in this place for a reason.
& I must accomplish God's plan!

Ehmm..ya, there's only 5 of us who are non-muslims.
I have talked to 3 of them, 1 just have to wait for the right time, she's a bit shy and I never had a chance to introduce myself.
The moment I knew them, I have a vision to pray for them all the time.
I don't know what God has put inside my heart but I just feel the need to pray for 4 of my new friends.
Hopefully we will be united tightly in the name of our loving God.

My new campus, I'll try to love you.
Very hard to survive in this place.
It is so competitive.
They only offer 4000+ places for the hostels but they have 7000+ students.
So the chance to be kicked out from the hostel is quite high.
I must perform really well in academic & curriculum.
Guys, do remember me in your prayer..
:)

Quick Post v 1.04

2011-11-16T10:49:00.000+08:00

So this morning I joined Min Sheng to Sunway Campus Revo. It's been a year since my last time involved in any Campus Revo movement, yup it was KTT Campus Revo. There were 4 of us, Ming Sheng, Tiffany, myself & the other girl in which I think her name is Ashley...haha..Sorry,I'm so bad in remembering people's name..XD

Even though it's just a small number but the quality of fellowship is superb! Frankly, I never feel this anxiety or peace when I was still in KTT group. Just only the 4 of us but we prayed hardly for the campus & I really could feel the Holy Spirit is moving & present among us.

Somehow I was reminded that the number is not everything because the heart is what really matters. I used to have a very big number in KTT once but I didn't feel contented at all as I felt not all the people who came were listening, not to me but to God. No offense but it was really like an obligation to come & not because of the conviction. Perhaps, because of this, not all would be permanent and consistent.

We didn't just pray like usual prayer that we always pray. When I was praying just now, I could feel that I was praying in spirit, not to boast, but this is what I really felt. God touched me & I believed all of us too & we started to pray boldly. When I said boldly, YES I mean LOUDLY! All of us prayed in tongue simultaneously & prayed using understandable language when we were moved by God.

I feel a bit guilty for not really encouraging the juniors to really-really pray loudly. We did but since everyone has their own reasons, I don't think it is good to force them. But if you are reading this, & God challenge you to pray loudly, do not be afraid. No one will harm you when you are praying. You are praying to God not to other people. God deserves all your praises!

Melissa the DragonMom didn't join us for the prayer meeting as she has to get her beautiful sleep after hours of finishing her assignments! hahaha..It's ok ahjumma, we will be seeing each other next time by God's grace..:)

-Blessings-

Quick Post v 1.03

2011-11-14T15:30:00.000+08:00

Shallom...

Yes, I'm about to start my new life in which I am a bit excited & anxious as well. Do not know what to expect. But it's better not to put high expectation on something so that I won't get hurt..:)

I think this is the first time that I really smile & happy genuinely..haha

Did I ever tell you guys that I really hate to board a plane?...Not that I'd be sad leaving particular place, it's just that I really cannot stand the 'moment of flying' above hundred miles of sea level. So the journey yesterday was a disaster for me. I got the most behind seat & it was the baddest thing happen! The seat was so small & I couldn't move a bit. So I almost got cramp for a few times..=.=

However, I was so happy when saw Pastor Dave & Kuan Cheen picked me up at the airport yesterday. Oh my goodness, it's been almost a year since the last time I saw Kuan Cheen & it's been few months for Pastor Dave since he went to Bintulu for Revo..hehe

The welcoming moment moment was great! haha..Kuan Cheen greeted me & seriously, all the pains during the 'moment of flying' were gone when he hugged me. It was comforting although it was so tight..:p

Got to go now........:)

-Blessings-

Sunday Reflection

2011-11-13T08:25:00.000+08:00

It's still not too late to say goodbye to someone & something I love.
For few more hours, I'll be stepping to my new season of life.
In which I am still afraid of it uncertainties.
However, I'll try to put my whole trust unto Him.

-Blessings-

11/11/11

2011-11-11T00:22:00.001+08:00

There are 'friends' who destroy each other,
but a real friend stick closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24

This is true indeed. There are some parts in our life that we might meet & encounter a type of friends who played a role as a destroyer. When it comes to the term of destroyer, hopefully all of us may understand what it is all about. It's not good to talk about others weakness..:)

Nevertheless, there are some parts in our life that we might meet & encounter a type of friends who are really close to us, sometimes closer than our own family. That makes a friendship more valuable. True friend feels comfortable with our weaknesses, in fact, they can accept just the way we are. True friend can contribute advices & critics although it may hurt ourselves because they want to see the positive change within us. True friend has no problem in accepting our little dark spots in our life.

Consequently, take your little time to thank God for your true friends. He has put them in your life not by chance but to build our character in the future. Do not forget destroyers either. Pray for them as if Jesus prayed for those who had persecuted him.

That's just an introduction, so this would be just another long post..haha
& I wanted to make this memorable because it involves 2 of my bestfriends in this world.

The moment I type this, my digital clock show a figure of 2331 & 10th November so it's not yet 11th November. 11th November is just another magnificent day in my life because 2 people who have impacted my life are celebrating their birthday on that very day.

To Mr.Mark Noel Vijeyaraj....

Hey there, thanks for becoming the most awesome brother in Christ. I was hesitate to type this as I would never know the reaction of other B.A.S.I.C. haha..They would probably rolling their eyes reading this especially Edloh & RR. What makes you special? Well, what I can say that, you are the 1st & only person who I feel comfortable to talk about BGR. We shared a lot of things & it makes me comfortable to share my point of views. The first time I knew you, I never expect to be this closer. I thought you were the type of guy who is a bit arrogant based on your look. However, this was totally wrong. You are an easy-going guy and very friendly indeed. Serving together in CF was the best memory that I could treasure.Do you still remember the moment I complained about your beard? Actually it suits you now with your considerably long hair,so you may keep it.:)

(Taken from your FB..XD)

To Miss Grace Sara....

Annyeong, I'm glad you found my blog at last..haha..after finish our SPM, we were disconnected and this is not something that I planned. I hate to be disconnected with people I know especially my bestfriends. When I was 13 or 14, I always pray to God to give me at least a person as my bestfriend. As I was entering a new stage of life that was 'teenager', I knew I really need someone to lead my life because I didn't want to drift away from a 'proper path'. So God gave me you! We might not that close when we were 13,14 or 15, but I could sense that we were getting closer when we were 16. I don't know what to say but you are among the luckiest girls in my circle who become my true friend. I'm happy for that & I really thank God. Thing changed after about 2 years of disconnection. We went through quite similar situation and this made our friendship stronger...:)

(Taken from FB..XD)

So 11th November is your blessed 20th Birthday!
I don't have anything to say except to pray so that your life will be fulled with joy and peace from God and may Him showers abundant and uncountable blessings in your life. We may be heading to separate ways but our relationship will never be separated.

I love you guys!

-Blessings-

!?

2011-11-08T23:23:00.001+08:00

if you haven't sat in ur corner of ur bedroom,crying so hard that ur body starts to ache,then you won't truly understand.if u have never screamed,begged for it to be over,u won't truly understand.if u have never prayed to God that u dont wake up in the morning,then u wont understand.if u have never felt like nothing was worth living for,u wont truly understand.u can read about it,watch movies and listen to songs about it..But unless u've felt it,u will never truly understand.

For some reason I was really captivated by this quote. Actually it was taken directly from one of my friend's FB status.

I Don't Feel Wanted

2011-11-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

It took courage & confidence for me to type this post. I don't want to condemn people & I think this post is not condemning at all. It is just the answer for questions that my friends keep asking me all over again. This is more like indescribably feelings that being portrayed here.

There would be moments in my life where people (mostly my close-friends) asking me the same question.

'Hey Willy, how are you?..You seem quiet lately'

Then some question were presented in different ways, methods and word but the point was still the same. So, I was (& still perhaps) bombarded by the same question in every season of my life.

I don't blame them for asking me the question. In fact, I appreciate their concern. They deserve to ask any question as long as I am comfortable with it. When I was encountered with this kind of question, I would answer it insincerely. It was not something that I planned, it was just a reflex that happened in that situation.

I don't know why, but I never be honest with this kind of question. The main reason is that, I don't want people to see 'invisible me'. Like I said, it is something that I fail to describe by using words. Hypocrite? I think it suits the best.

So whenever this type of question being asked, I realized one thing that I really could be confident telling you guys. Yup, that is true, I was (am) silent in every of my social connection (FB,MSN,YM.......so on). The reason why I don't really activate myself is that I don't feel wanted wherever I go & whatever I do. This sounds harsh but this is the truth.

Some people might be surprised in discovering the truth of me as I am always be the happy-go-lucky person in front of everybody. Don't get too surprised. This is what I called as camouflaging. I adapted to the surrounding situation so that people couldn't recognize my feeling.

I always wonder, do my friends think about me as they about to go to bed like I always did? Would my friends willing to answer my call whenever I need them? Why don't they send me a short text saying that they are ok while they seem so busy updating their FB status every single hour? Am I still exist in your circle or life?

I'm paranoid?...perhaps

But I couldn't help myself to have these questions lingering in my mind. So am I completely wrong in this situation? I don't know....You answer me.

Do you know what has driven me to create this kind of post? So I'm gonna tell you now. The only and ultimate reason is that, for this 1 year, I felt no one really asked me honestly about my condition. Most of my friends knew what happened to me but I didn't (and still don't) feel the true comfort from them. No one knows I was crying from inside out almost every single day. No one would be willing to be in my shoes.

I thought someone who I really care for, someone that I call family once upon a time (although we're not related) would be the best antidote for the emptiness. But I was wrong. Totally wrong. I'm so sorry if you were reading this, sometimes I feel regret pouring & sharing the love to someone like you. Probably there would be more compatible person to receive my love. This is what I feel all the time. I don't want to carry the regret because I know I really love you guys whole-heartedly! But this is what truly happen when I got weak, Satan is whispering.

It would be unfair if I said everyone is abandoning me. There are still people who really concern about my situation. So I really thank God to have them in my life although they are very few.

Thankful...

2011-10-30T17:11:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning with an extremely low energy level because I went out last evening and went back home literally few hours before dawn. Actually it's 1 am this morning. It's unusual for me as I'm the type of guy that love to spend time at home doing all the activities that may content me, except when I was with certain people.

So yesterday I went out with my cousin and a best-friend of us. We have planned to go out few times before this but unfortunately, I couldn't leave my house as 1st-ly I'm babysitting and 2nd-ly My brother is being infected by Chicken Pox! Poor him......& luckily I got infected by that disease when I was 8...*wink*

The 3 of us are quite close since our secondary school. I can't describe the bond between us literally and hypothetically but we are really close because we've been through quite the same situations in our life. What I can say, during my secondary school years, 2 of them are the most reliable people that I could look up to. So technically we kind of understand each other in many ways..:)
(Note:Both of them actually are girls)

Knowing that we were going to spend time in chit-chating, eating, drinking & so on, it really excites me. This is what I've been looking forward for the past few months. I couldn't wait to share everything that I've encountered and listen to their point of views. As usual they never disappoint me & they always be my great listeners back in my hometown. It's great to know that someone who understands us internally and externally are ready to become our comforters and energize our faith.

I really thank God for all the people that He has introduced in my life. I know there will be a time in which some of us might be separated, but He will always prepare another person to occupy the emptiness in our heart and life. So three of us may not always seeing each other due to our studies but I'm always glad that we have spent a lot of valuable times for the past 5 or 6 years. For the future, I believe another person or people have been prepared by God and it's just the matter of His time, to be introduced to me. Whatever the person's background, I will always be thankful!

-Blessing-

!?

2011-10-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

Only this time, I can't smile and play along.
Because the truth is I'm tired.

Someone Like You

2011-10-26T18:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it lasts in love,

Sometimes it hurts instead

Me & Pokemon are Best-Friends..^^

2011-10-25T00:12:00.001+08:00

Wanna know my 'drugs'?
Here it is...lol

Yeah, it's pokemon.
Wanna label me childish?
Go ahead!!!
hahaha...
What do you expect for a boy like me who grew up with this kind of cute creatures?
Loves watching WWE like any other ordinary guys did?
Nope, I hate violence.
Footbal 24-7?
Yup, I do watch football but I'm not freaking fanatic to them.
Love cars?
ehmmm...I still don't have a license..:p

I really love pokemon until to the point that I recognize everyone of them, their evolution charts, powerful technique, etc..
Exception for Pokemon Generation V, they are quite new to me & I just know their existence this year, pretty much few months ago..XD
Nevertheless, for Pokemon Generation I,II,III & IV, I'm considered myself as a pro..*self-proclaiming..hahaha*

So, recently I just finish playing Pokemon Emerald in which I started playing it right after I finished SPM. Then I was undergoing some hibernation due to A-Level...XD
So, I left the game unfinished & untouchable.
At the same time, I am playing Pokemon Crystal and Pokemon Diamond too.
I took for about a week to finish Pokemon Crystal as I'm quite mastered in Pokemon Generation II.
I'm still working on Pokemon Diamond. This version is my first version of Pokemon Generation IV, so it's a little bit hard to understand the game as I haven't finished reading the manga yet.
(Note:The game depends on the manga,to understand the walk-through of every single game version,reading all the mangas is necessary)

^___^

So,below are the list of game versions that I've finished the game, still playing it and plan to play in the future..

Played versions: Pokemon Green, Pokemon Red, Pokemon Yellow, Pokemon Gold, Pokemon Silver, Pokemon Crystal, Pokemon Emerald, Pokemon Fire Red.

Currently playing: Pokemon Diamond, Pokemon Leaf Green.

Will Be Playing: Pokemon Platinum, Pokemon Heart Gold or Soul Silver.

Back to the story of Pokemon Emerald, while I was playing it to beat the Elite 4 for a second time, I lost all the data after I won the battle.

So, I literally died!

I cannot accept I lost all the data.

It's so different for other versions in which the other versions would remain saved & the player could continue to capture all the pokemon and complete the Pokedex.

So, the lost of the data in Pokemon Emerald is so unacceptable.

sigh...

Sometimes, I just wonder.......

When would I stop playing this games?

Maybe after I got my first girlfriend..

LOL

amnsjyr

2011-10-22T08:59:00.000+08:00

The people that we love or considered them as our bestfriends sometimes may hurt us.
I guess it's true that the only person that cares for us is only OURSELVES.....(exception for God.)
No one cares.
No one bothers.
Although the sufferings are obviously presented before everyone's eyes.
It's just the matter of heart whether we really love the people or not.
It's painful.
It hurts.
But this is the truth.
Deal with it.

o.o

2011-10-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

Life is so precious...indeed.
& I don't have to waste it as someone already paid the ultimate price.
I'm sorry Pastor Dave...
I'm sorry Melzie...
I'm sorry Yvonne...

Most importantly,
I'm so sorry Jesus.

Summary For The Weekend

2011-10-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

I felt so sleepy while the people were still praying in the cell group just now.
Probably due to the lack of sleep as yesterday I arrived at my home at 2.33AM!!!!
I didn't go clubbing...so don't worry..hahaha
I went to visit my uncle in which the journey is plus-minus 30 minutes from our house.
It's been a long time since our last visit, plus all the dramas that happened in our family.
Pity him...& pity us for we have to meet secretly.
sigh.....

This week, I received 2 phone calls from my buddies in India!
Edwin & Aliff..*excited-face*
I'm really appreciate it & I didn't expect the calls at all.
So for the rest who don't give me their India number, (Qq,Nana,Mark,Gavin,Gebby,Ling CJ & for the rest who I can't type here due my laziness) feel free to call me ASAP..lol

Anyway, it's exactly a month before I go to register myself in my new campus.
I kind of excited and nervous at the same time.
I don't know....
Maybe I'm just afraid to face my new life.
However, I will get ready mentally and physically for it.

And the last thing for this post......
I noticed that Joash, my Twitter buddy, didn't appear frequently in my timeline.
Honestly, I miss him..XD
For he always hardworking enough to reply every of my tweet..haha
I know he is busy..(he is a medical student btw...^^) so I did text him asking his day and so on..
Wishing you all the best Joash!

-Blessings-

Sunday Reflection

2011-10-09T08:56:00.000+08:00

Ok, I have several minutes before my mom scream my name to get ready for church..haha
It's been a long time I didn't share my own point of views in this dearest blog.
Well, things didn't flow as we expected, many unexpected and kind of disappointing situations happened but I have to be strong. No more cries! No more complain (ok this is hard)
I never expect myself to be the perfect one as I know my own weaknesses.
There is a lot of weaknesses that are keep conquering me over time, which is not good.
I've learned to listen to my own voice but this is difficult for me to deal with.
Spiritual dryness?
Probably.....
What do you expect after 1 year of isolation?
I'm still learning to deal with my own disappointments.
I don't know, I thought I'm ok and able to bear it but I just can't.
The moment I thought I'm completely heal is the moment I become weak (the weakest for sure)
And I think I'm not ready to face my new season of life.
New environment.
New people.
New course.
And of course new journey waiting ahead.
I wish I could be stronger.
I guess no one listening these...

:)

2011-10-06T08:41:00.000+08:00

If you want to be like Jesus, then love the unlovable, forgive the unworthy and serve people who can't repay you.

:)

2011-10-04T16:34:00.001+08:00

-Blessings-

:)

2011-10-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

Wake Up Call

2011-10-02T23:48:00.001+08:00

As I was on my way to church this morning, I somehow was reminded on 1 moment in which it happened for about 2 years ago.

It's not significant back there but as I grow older, it's like a wake up call for me.

It happened when I was spending my time with my church leader one evening after I finished my exhausting classes one Thursday. It also happened that it was few hours before we had Homes (it is a cell group in which we held it every Thursday fortnightly).

So, he picked me up around 5 pm and we had our tea time at one of the mamak cafe in Bandar Baru Nilai. As usual, he asked me about my life,studies,family etc..

I wasn't that open last time especially to someone who I called acquaintance. No offense but seriously, this was me, I wasn't that comfortable to talk about my life. Perhaps, I was so defensive & offensive + afraid of people's judgments.

However, it was not the big deal. I saw and noticed he cares so much about me so I've decided to be a little bit open and it took step by step for me to converse confidently.

So we talked and he shared about some part of his life. I wasn't that 'rational' last time, so it was hard for me to link the story to my story. But nowadays, I can see the truth behind all the stories.

In our conversation, he did ask me 1 question. He asked me about my long-term plan of life, where would I continue my life as a doctor after graduating.

Ok, this was happened before the ultimate pathetic incident happened, in which I failed to pursue my medic dream. So, I didn't know what would happen after I finished my A-Level & both of us talked like I managed to get the passing points.

I told him, I would go to work in Hospital Bintulu and serve people there. I never think of any place except for my very own hometown.

Shockingly, he was smiling.

Then he started to point out his opinion. He said, what we plan is not necessary good for us, what is good is not necessary is planned for us. You might plan to work in Bintulu, close to your family, but what would happen if it would never be happened? You still here, end up at this place somewhere in KL. We never know the future.

Actually, it kind of true also. The future is so uncertain, like my current issue, failed to go to India and being an object of badmouthing for months. If I would know the result would turn out like this, I would tell him to avoid the topic as I would definitely stay in Malaysia.

Where would I stay after spending certain years in particular university or college? Where would I serve after my study life? We deserve to ask this.

What we have planned is not necessary good for us and if we couldn't manage to go to that very place that we have desire so much, it wasn't destined for us, for we must go to other place where we have been destined to have big commitments there.

Is it pathetic? Yes it does....

We planned to stay in a big city but we ended up in some rural areas.

We planned to stay near to our parents but we ended up to stay at places that is so far away than them.

So, do you think that FATE is being playful to you?

No it doesn't for God has planned something that is bigger than our thought.

So, if next time in the future I would be asked the same question, I would answer that, I would willingly go to any place as long as God is with me.

Blessings~

:)

2011-10-01T12:48:00.000+08:00

To Someone Out There

2011-09-27T22:38:00.000+08:00

Deep down in my heart, I feel that we both care for each other.

Nevertheless, we do not show it in any obvious way.

I do not know, probably because of the invisible wall between us that keep restricting us to get closer.

We seldom talk, we seldom chat in Facebook, we did reply to each other tweet sometimes, we were amazingly silent when we were together, most of the time when we studied.

But what I can really sure is that, we always share things.

Doesn't matter whether it is food or drink.

We always share, this is what I realized.

You brought cookies and always left it there in an open place so that I could eat it whenever I like.

You brought the most delicious cake for your other friends and unintentionally, you kept the small part for me.

You brought a lot of instant noodle cups and you told me to eat it whenever I wanted to.

I bought 100 Plus sometimes and left it publicly on the table so that you could drink it.

I bought chocolates from the airport just to welcome you back after the holidays.

I bought 'apam balik' because I know you love them so much.

There was a lot of things that we had been shared together and yet we fail to be opened to each other.

I really treasured those moments because it is so meaningful and beautiful.

I really appreciate your concern today.

I did not expect you to be the first one.

Because sometimes, I feel tired to be the always one who initiate the conversation or action.

We Expect to be The One

2011-09-26T18:53:00.002+08:00

Things do not follow on what we expect most of the time.

We expect to be like Nickhun or Jake Gyllenhaal, but in reality we just us.

We expect to be like Dianna Agron or Demi Lovato, but we end up to be ourselves.

We expect to cook like Gary Mehigan but in reality, the result don't deserve to be served.

We expect to sing and dance like Beyonce or G-Dragon, but the result is still the same.

You don't have to be hypocrite.

I know it's hard to fit into the new circle of generation.

But by following people's judgments won't bring us to the top level in seconds.

It brings more pain than satisfaction.

So,by following your own desires will bring joy and peace.

Live according on what you say, not people say.

And live according on what God has created you.

He made you perfectly...

-Blessing-

Till I See You

2011-09-22T16:42:00.000+08:00

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

-Blessings-

Reflection

2011-09-15T17:13:00.000+08:00

It's been raining since morning, which I hate it the most.
Very unproductive for a new great day.
Plus, the Astro signal getting sucks when the rain getting heavier.
So, guess what?...I've no active stuff to do except watching TV.
The moment I woke up this morning, I went to 'clean' myself up first then switched on the TV, intended to watch MTV but the segment was such a boring one. Then switched to Hitz.TV, still the same. Finally ended up with TV8 watching Hot.FM..haha..At least, the DJs are so funny and not boring at all..Thumbs up to Fafau,FBI and the rest which I never know the name..XD

Haha...

When I was alone at home, I was reflecting myself.
Thinking what have I done for weeks.
Then I realized, I had a short dream last night.
Although it was short but I really appreciate that I dreamt that way.
Well........last night, I dreamt about a guy, not just another common guy.
He is the best friend/brother of mine, who I never feel limited to share most of my problems.
I didn't know what happen in that dream but when I think back about it, it kinda comforting and relieving.
Furthermore, I felt the warm embrace given by him in which I really need it the most at this very moment.
In reality, it's very hard to see 2 guys were hugging, but in my real life, I have no problem with that.
I love hugging people as I feel it's one of my way to express that I really care for them.
And I love to receive a hug from someone who I really know as I found that really comfort me.
That's the reason why I said the dream was so meaningful.

Yeah, although he is so busy currently due to his studies in dentistry, I hope he's doing fine and great there.
I told him before that the friendship is not defined by the distance & I really have to claim that too.
Even though, I'll never see or meet him for about 5 years, I know this relationship will not end just because we're located in different places.

Anyway, nothing much I can do except of praying for his best.
All the best in India brother~

-Blessings-

Keep The Faith

2011-09-12T18:45:00.000+08:00

There will be a moment in everyone's life that we may ask God....Why me?
Until we fully understand what is His plan in our life, at that moment, we will thank God for what He is been doing and put us in such situations.
Therefore, the best thing that we can do is to pray asking God to give us 100% courage to accept everything from Him, because He always prepare the best for us.

Let Go, Let God..

Best Love

2011-09-08T16:08:00.000+08:00

FB Status

2011-09-06T08:34:00.000+08:00

Link
The sweetest Facebook status in 2010..:)

Best Love

2011-09-04T18:24:00.001+08:00

This is what I've been doing lately

Watching the drama and trying to capture the best screenshots.

Hahaha...

I love this scene & I recommend you to watch this Korean Drama

Best Love~

You Are My Father

2011-09-04T08:11:00.000+08:00

I still have few more minutes before I get ready for church..:)

So, enjoy this song.

One of my favorite songs..^^

Blessed Sunday~

Spiritual Busyness

2011-09-01T12:18:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to update this blog daily, but seriously, I always fail to do so.
I think the main reason is that, I do not know how to put everything in words.
I afraid that the readers might be misinterpreted everything that I wrote here..
I know this kinda lame..=.='
Anyway, I was left alone again at home in which, it delighted me..haha
Yeah, I admit that I love to stay at home whereas some people just love to walk around somewhere else.

I've been invited to join a camp that was organized by one movement in which the movement is very well known here in my hometown especially among my church.
Actually the camp was last week & I guess it's over probably by yesterday or Monday.
I didn't join them.
It's not that I'm trying to set apart from any spiritual event, it's just that I think that this isn't my time to shine.
I strongly feel that God wanted me to spend time with Him alone, not in the camp. I know the camp was extremely good but I was convicted to give the chance to other people who never experience God before.
I never know, maybe the empty place that supposed to be mine would be occupied by a person who really needs God at the first place.

That is one of the main reason.
Besides, I'm trying to set apart from the spiritual busyness.
I want to listen to God's voice when I'm still, not occupied by all of the activities.
Serving God is absolutely a good job and it pleases God.
However, we should bear in mind that God doesn't call us to spiritual busyness, He has called us to have a blast moment of spiritual growth.
Don't let your spiritual busyness choke you until you can't even listen to God's voice.
This is dangerous.
Just examine ourselves, whether we're still listening to God's voice in the midst of our jobs.
If the answer is negative, you should set apart from your busyness in serving God first, pray to God and listen to what He's going to tell you.
If you're serving without experiencing any spiritual growth, it's useless.
You may get tired over times and finally this will lead you to a destructive path.

The main figure when we are serving either in church or outside church is GOD!
Not your priests, pastors, leaders, parents or even your friends.
It's your dearly God, who never satisfy or stop in loving you.
When you put God as the main figure, you know you're heading to a right path.

2011-08-29T09:51:00.000+08:00

Jesus never promise life would be easy all the time when we followed Him. He didn't say, all that we want would be granted. He didn't say all dreams would be fulfilled. He didn't promise life would be filled with laughter in every second. He didn't promise to eliminate all the pains in our life. He didn't promise a bright day all the time.

But he did promise, strength for the day... comfort for the tears and light for the way...

Don't lose hope dear....

-Blessings-

2011-08-26T13:59:00.001+08:00

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Lord, sometimes when I look in the mirror I’m not too happy with what I see.

Please let me see me the way you made me, beautiful and perfect just as I am.

Help me to hold this image in my mind and heart as I follow my life’s path.

Allow others to witness your light shining through me as I walk with confidence, grace and a smile on my face.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

2011-08-26T08:50:00.002+08:00

I Guess No One Cares...

Always a Random post..:p

2011-08-25T18:26:00.000+08:00

Yayayayaya....I don't know what happened to me lately. Happy, Sad, Nervous?..Emotion conflict for sure!
=.='
This week is not really an interesting week. Been 'wanted' by the kindergarten teacher..haha..she wanted the payment to be advanced..haish...I think it's better to pay the full attention to your students' academic first, then you can ask the payment. For almost 1 year, I don't see any positive progress on my brother's academic. I mean like yaa, he can sing the ABC song, read the '123' in Chinese but he's very bad in Maths (ok..this is just an addition..not even important..XD). The main point is, singing ABC won't guarantee the kids to be genius if they merely know how to sing but fail to recognize the alphabets,it's still useless. I've tried my best teaching him in home but it's different from the way the community of teachers are working. No wonder why some of the parents stop their kids study there and transferred their kids to a better school. I don't wanna talk about this, it's so annoying..>.<

Well, after has been dumped by some local medical universities, it wouldn't stop me to try more. Actually I didn't have to apply, in fact, I received a lot of offers to continue my degree. But the thing is, most of the offers are not compatible to my interest and some of them also have not been recognized by MQA. Oh..Please! stop all the useless offers.

&...recently, I received an offer from one of the Malaysia public university. Probably I'd take it. It's not a degree course and perhaps some people would label me such an idiot for taking it. I mean like, Hello! you never been in my shoes and you'd never understand the sufferings. I don't mind if I have to start all over again as long as God is with me. I know He plan this for me because He knows this is the best. Throughout my life, I'd be happy if I please God more than pleasing people. It will be a true joy if I really live according to His will.

Yeah..I've made up my mind, I will take the course no matter what people would think.
&.....I'm glad that I don't have to tell my mentor about this, he knew before I was about to tell him..wee..haha
I know, probably that little shortie told him..XD

haha..wow..Time flies so fast.
It was just like yesterday I've been elected as the Prayer Group Coordinator in KTT CF for 2009/2010 or the 3rd generation..:D
The truth is, yesterday the 5th generation of the committees were elected. I don't know all of them except for one boy..haha..I'm glad that he was chosen, I mean, at least I received some good impressions about him from my junior before he was elected..hehe

The journey is just about to start. The event ahead is still uncertain and it's all about their will and strength to make it valuable and meaningful. I know God has chosen all of them before they even know the existence of KTT CF or KTT?..hahaha..yeah, enjoy serving in CF. Remember, wherever you are, you are definitely a God's representative. Continue to shine & don't let the saltiness gone..:)

SAVED TO SHINE

The moment when I realized after I woke up~

2011-08-22T09:49:00.000+08:00

This is what happened after I woke up this morning and didn't wash my hair last night......

I look ugly...><

I mean not washing it using shampoo! Of course I did go to bath and wet my hair!
LoL...
But I guess this is the true beauty..XD
The way we look at the moment we woke up, without put anything (hair gel,wax,make-up etc) on our face, hair, body and so on..haha
If your partner couldn't accept our 'True-Beauty', he/she were not meant to be our soul-mate. We deserve the best in our life..hahaha..*here I started crapping*

'Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me'
Psalm 23 : 4

-Blessings-

Another Random Post..:p

2011-08-21T19:29:00.000+08:00

What happen to all the Malaysians?
Why you no reading my blog?
LOL!
~haha

Yeah, I kind of surprise when I saw my blog stat showing that the 'highest-audiences' were from US.
Wow! Didn't know this blog is famous (wanna be..hahaha) in US...XD

I know this is a silly post..:p

Another Random Post..:p

2011-08-19T17:41:00.001+08:00

Well....It's been quite a long time that I abandoned my dearest blog.
Nothing special for me to update my blog.
Plus, I kinda repulsive lately....as a result, I chose to isolate from any business so that I wouldn't hurt people surrounding me or myself.

blah..blah..blah..lets put all the dramas aside.
It's time to be optimistic Mr.Wonka!

Ok..First of all, praise the Lord for the miracle that He has shown to me and my family, that He has brought Earl to live again! Yup, it was full of emotional moments when we found that Earl was drowning in the small fish pool, although it's small, it's still too dangerous for 1+ year old kid. The doctor said it was impossible to save him, but God has proven that the knowledge of the world still couldn't save us though. The Medical point of views always tell us to believe on something that they earned in worldly knowledge but You always tell us to believe and to have hope, because in the end, Your name will be glorified. Everything that had happened is to bring honor and glory to the Son of Man. This is true indeed...Although Earl still don't recover to the full stat of health but at least he is sober and passed through the coma condition successfully. Thanks for Your love....

Today, I was invited to a party. The truth is I'm 80% homey boy and most probably I wouldn't go but this is not the real deal. What bother me the most is that, the party is called Happy Male Party with D.J ?. I was like

o.O when reading the name of the party. What is it about? Who will attend it? All these questions keep lingering my mind non-stop...><

Yup..seriously I won't go to the party. It would be better if I spent my time watching movies..:)

haha..ok enough for now..will be updating soon..IF..

My friend said...

2011-08-19T17:00:00.000+08:00

My friend said....

Flirting is a habit for those who are single; it is their way of saying I am free.
But for those who are committed, it is their way of saying I am bored.

hahaha...it might be true though..XD

Nothing Special here...

2011-08-14T20:28:00.001+08:00

People always think that I'm strong (in term of emotion) and some of them even admire some of my good qualities. The truth is, however, I'm not that strong as most of the people assumed. I do cry over some tiny-miny things which I think it is kinda childish. I'm a person that are not stingy to donate my tears over something. Alright, I wanna make confession here, I was suffered a lot for past few months. There are tons of posts that are half-way typed merely because I couldn't finish it. Usually I would type something that are purely from my heart, that means everything is my honest point of views. Therefore, if I typed something that was kind of sad and a little bit too personal, I would stop for a while and recalled back what had happened. As a result, I was devastated and everything stop all at once. I can't imagine how pathetic and fragile I am. I felt no one in this world would understand my sufferings. So, I tend to keep everything in my heart and cramp all the problems, sufferings and so on inside.

I know it is unwise to reveal our own weakness, but I feel as if I am a total hypocrite if I didn't tell to the world even once about this pathetic quality.

I'm here not for any attention.........but I'm here for a freedom.

-Blessings-

Truth

2011-08-12T14:45:00.000+08:00

Personality Patterns

2011-08-10T15:53:00.000+08:00

Scrupulous

You are an honest, fair person. You don't lie or cheat to get ahead. You treat others with respect and hope for the same in return.You do not feel that you are above the rules that everyone else follows; you are definitely not willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

Unflappable

You are not a slave to your emotions. It takes a lot to upset or unnerve you. That's why you're a good person to have around in a crisis.You don't let it all hang out, which means that those around you often don't know the pressures you're under or what you're going through. You're not the kind of person people run from in a crisis.

Upbeat

You enjoy being around others and others enjoy being around you. You have a "live and let live" attitude; because you know that no one's perfect, you are forgiving and happy to give the benefit of the doubt.You don't feel the need to be controversial or express contrary opinions all the time. You see no reason to go around rubbing people the wrong way.

Responsible

You fulfill your obligations and responsibilities, are true to your word, and generally obey the rules. While the majority of those who have a high score on the "responsible" trait enjoy traveling, they are usually very happy to return home — and don’t mind staying put for a while.You're opposed to making hasty decisions, you don't insist that you're above the rules, nor do you feel compelled to color outside the lines.

Calm

You rarely become irritated, generally accept people as they are, take things as they come, and feel relaxed in most situations.You do not let a minor annoyance escalate to a confrontation. You don't regularly snap at those around you or fly off the handle with little provocation.

Sympathetic

You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.

Friendly

You would rather hang out with others than spend time alone, and you'd far rather be doing something with your friends than just sitting around. You're happy in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.You're not a private person who is ill at ease in a group; you don't view excessive socializing as a waste of time.

Warm

You have a genuine interest in other people. You're a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you're usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the "warm" trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.You don't always say exactly what you're thinking; you don't like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.

Cooperative

You enjoy teamwork, play well with others, and prefer getting along to winning.You're not compelled to win every contest nor to be right all the time.

Understanding

You are willing to take the time to find out what's going on with other people, especially if they're in distress. You're a good listener, you don't criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it's requested. With a high score on the "understanding" trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.You don't feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.

Alright...I saw the newest post of my dearest ahjumma talking about the Personality Patterns. So, I somehow got interested and tried the questions. Some of the questions are a little bit confusing..=.='

Hahaha...ok, about the result, what I can say, I was shocked!

It's 95%+ correct, from my point of view and yeah, I was amazed that even this kind of application can reveal the true personality (although few of them are not really compatible)

Hey, you can take the quiz just for fun...:)
You may click here....... link
or you wanna read that-awesome-ahjumma's personality?..feel free to click her post here.. (^____^)

-Blessings-

Happy Friendship Day

2011-08-07T19:34:00.000+08:00

~`~`~`~`~`~

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll be there forever.

- Winnie the Pooh

~`~`~`~`~`~

Perhaps, some of us do not know that today is the Friendship Day, it's being celebrated worldwide. Technically, we do not have to wait for only on specific day to appreciate our dearest best friends, but no offense, I know this special day is for leisure or fun and I have to point out here, that I have no any against on people who are celebrating it today. May you enjoy your valuable time with your lovely friends.

Sometimes, in our life, we have to find a time and ask ourselves, what is FRIENDSHIP? Based on Wikipedia, Friendship is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. But, according to you, what is friendship?

Generally we should know that, friends help us succeed, care for us when we fall, keep us company when we're lonely and protect us when we're in danger.

Furthermore, a friend is someone who shares the joy of your triumphs and the pains in your troubles. A friend lifts you up when you stumble in on life's rocky roads. A friend walks with you through the dark valleys. A friend stands with you to help you face life's challenges. A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

It will never be too late to tell to our dearest friends that we love them. No matter what had happened, friendship is something that is so strong indeed compared to boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship. Why? because, before anyone gets in any serious BGR, they would become friend first, took step by step slowly, knowing each other very well, and then the 'crucial' step was taken, to confess!..hahaha..True?

Therefore, decide your own time to recall back every special thing that you and your best-friends have spent together. It's time to appreciate each other before the chance is gone. I know, most of our loving friends are separated now, but the relationship is not defined by the distance but by the trust that we have. For every person that had entered to my life, I appreciated it so much and I'd never forget the moment. You guys are true blessings indeed..:)

-Blessings-

Summary Of My Daily Life

2011-08-05T20:28:00.000+08:00

Woww..for the first time I felt my blog is SO dead!
It's not that I'm lazy to update this only blog..the only reason is that, yeah you know, there is nothing special happened so far and I don't want to use my brain temporarily to create a new extravagant post..hahaha..ok, just ignore the second part, totally crap..XD

Just now, I fall asleep while playing my favorite game since I was kid using my mobile phone, Pokemon...Pokemon Crystal to be exact. You may call me childish, LIKE I CARE. Probably I was too tired. I didn't realized I closed my eyes and my playlist was still played and the moment I got sober, the song from Hyuna, Change was being played. I rushed to look at the time and it was 7.26 pm..huhh, I thought I was sleeping for hours..>.<'

That is one of the weird things that happened today. Last night I dreamt about becoming a choreographer and formed a new sensation dance group..Lol.. that's dream, anything may happen..haha..oh ya, my dearest noona, Farah...was also in my dream. We were collaborating to make our group famous internationally and we named the group, Eva.. Don't ask me how did I get the group's name, it's just happen..:p

This morning, when I was about to fetch my brother from his school, I saw an unexpected letter (usually I will check the mailbox before I went off to my brother's school). I didn't expect the letter will be posted as I already know about the result via their website. Plus, they don't have to trouble themselves to mail the letter to my address home, their confirmation via their own website 1 month ago was completely enough and understandable. I know how to read and I was aware. I'm not angry....I'm just already make up my mind not to bother about this stuff. Maybe you feel so sorry because you have ruined my future?

Blah..blah..blah..I don't care and I simply don't!
I'm happy now as I'm ready to face and enter my new season of life. I know my future is still uncertain but this is just a small matter to me. My God is big, He is bigger than any obstacle that I've faced and may face. I'll just have to pray so that His will be done!

-Blessings-

Perfect?

2011-08-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not perfect though

I'm just 161 cm with a normal BMI

I do not really know how to play football although my dad is a football maniac and was a footballer

I do not have any martial art skill although my dad knows some

I never been in any relationship like anyone does

I failed to fulfill my once biggest dream

I once chose the wrong circle of friends

My English and Malay sucks sometimes and how I wish I don't have to study those languages in life

People called me 'weirdo' just because I love and know how to dance

I'm the only guy in my entire family that do not know how to entertain people just because I do not drink

I never show any interest on cars like any ordinary guy did

People might call me stupid because I wasted my only chance to assure my future career

But I'm still willing to learn from my mistakes and weaknesses. I think this is my strength.

Everyone is Special

2011-07-29T11:31:00.000+08:00

God has a divine destiny for each one of us to fulfill. God did not make average people. We all have seeds of greatness, treasure inside waiting to be recognized and released. An imperative part of fulfilling our destiny is to develop our confidence in God, and in return, step out of our comfort zone. When we make a move, God will make a move. We have to do the natural and God will do the supernatural. It’s easy to get stuck in our comfort zone, using only ten percent of what God has given us. If we’re not uncomfortable every once in a while, then we’re not using our faith.

When we think bigger, God will act bigger. When we believe, we can rise higher, hold up our head, and walk like a child of the Most High God. That’s when God shows up and shows out in unusual ways. When you learn to stretch your faith and step out of your comfort zone, you’ll not only overcome obstacles that look insurmountable, but you will accomplish more than you ever thought possible. And at the end of your days, you’ll not only experience the joy of releasing your full potential, but you will have fulfilled your God-given destiny, ultimately affecting generations to come!

Bye Bye buddies!

2011-07-27T23:18:00.002+08:00

huhh......
1 by 1, my dearest friends are leaving this lovely place to grab their dream and make sure it will come true.
Absolutely, this is not another-emo-post.
Just to recall back all the memories since I met them for the first time.
All of the memories are so beautiful and can't be compared to any mortal thing in this world because I know they live inside my soul.
The first time knew each other was the beginning of the new chapter of life which has taught me with a lot of useful and solid perspectives. And prepared myself to be competent to face this challenging world.
Meeting you is a blessing that God has prepared for me and I thank Him for every second that we have spent together.
We have been through some emotional moments during our journey of life but it didn't discourage us and choose the inappropriate paths, in fact it strengthen us to be more capable.
I don't know what to say anymore, so, here it is.....ALL THE BEST IN INDIA!
You are created, from the beginning, to be a VICTOR.....

Be strong Qiqi!

Please continue the legacy of 2P2C, Gyver!

LOL

I'm not that smart to put everything in words but I hope you guys are smart enough to realize that how much I love you guys as my true friends..:)
I'd never be this grateful in my life to know and meet you 2.....such a wonderful blessings..:)
One has taught me how wonderful is life if the faith is the main principle, and the other one has taught me to have the sense of humor and to be the pleasing disciple of God.

But the time is coming - indeed it's here now - when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me.
John 16 : 32

Even though, now we are scattered, but I believe by God's chance, we will be reunited again.

-Blessings-

Wonderful Maker

2011-07-25T19:52:00.001+08:00

You spread out the skies over empty space
Said "let there be light"
Into a dark and formless world Your light
was born

You spread out Your arms over empty hearts
Said "let there be light"
Into a dark and hopeless world Your Son
was born

You made the world and saw that it was good
You sent Your only son for You are good

What a wonderful Maker
What a wonderful Savior
How majestic Your whispers
And how humble Your love
With a strength like no other
And the heart of a Father
How majestic Your whispers
What a wonderful God

No eye has fully seen, how beautiful the cross
And we have only heard
The faintest whispers of how great You are

Faith Without Action is Dead

2011-07-20T15:05:00.001+08:00

I've been searching for materials that can be used to share some good news to my lovely friends. Well, usually I'd go searching any blog but it don't really interesting to read all the time (for some people). So, to get their attention, I think it is the best to get a visual material. Thank God, I've found some websites in which it contain a lot of Christian materials that can be used.

This short video, I found it in http://www.donghaeng.net/ ..^^
Probably some of you already know about this website, it contains a lot of interesting flash videos. The video above is one of my favorite video.

In our life, we don't really understand what exactly is our duty as His follower. We think that by sharing the verses in the bible is really enough to convince the lost sheep but it is not sufficient. I bet people who already went through the book of James might understand what I'm talking about. In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action is dead - James 2:17..Even the bible tells us that our faith is dead without any action. Although we have the full knowledge of the bible, our faith is still useless if we failed to possess appropriate action.

In our life, God doesn't really care if you can recite all the verses or not. If you do, well congratulation! But what really count, is whether our actions reflect what the bible teach us or not. Just remember, our simple action of love might change the heart of one person..2 people..3 people.. or more. We might not know but God works in mysterious way. One thing for sure, God wants us to produce the Spiritual Fruits not the Religious Nuts.

Enjoy the video...:)

-Blessings-

God's Letter...#3

2011-07-18T22:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I doubted what God has installed in my life. A lot of questions and limitations keep existing when I started to put the trust onto the Lord. I afraid of the uncertain future, and I believe everyone does. Nevertheless, I am glad when I know I have someone that can give me hope and talk to me in my doubt moment..God

You don't really need me to remind you, you are reminding yourself. You don't really need me to encourage you, you are encouraging yourself. Just like King David who you love so, you have learned the ability to encourage yourself in my word and that is a skill that will serve you well throughout eternity.

You know what I have to say on the matter, you said it yourself, all things are possible through Christ. You know that I have a plan for your life and you know it is a good plan. You know that I would not have brought you this far to leave you. You know that I will lead and guide you always. You know that I will never leave you.

Yes, this next step, this next season is a big one. I am asking you to do things that you have not done before. I am asking you to trust me to put together the plan. I am asking you to get started before the full plan is evident to you. You were ok with that yesterday and now, you worry. Now that you are looking at it against man's plans, you think you should know more than you do. You think you should have it all laid out. If you had it all laid out already then it really would be your plan and not mine.

I have been leading you and guiding you for long enough now, don't doubt the pattern that we have developed. I show you the big picture in general terms and then I give you next steps. Wait for each step. Trust me to provide each one. We will do this the same way we have done so much together. It is a pattern that works for us. Don't let others influence how you think we should work together. You know me, you know how I work. Trust that.

I have not given you a spirit of fear or timidity. Especially you. I have given you the courage of a mother lion. There is nothing that you will back down from, especially if it is something that is threatening what you care about. That is part of why you are feeling unease. I am asking you to do some things that go against your nature. Your natural instinct is loyalty and faithfulness no matter what. I need you to recognize in this case, I need your loyalty to me and your faithfulness to me to supersede the loyalty and faithfulness you feel toward others.

It is hard I know, but I will give you peace. Peace I give to you and peace I leave with you. I will shower you with the peace of my love and the assurance that I am with you every step of the way. Don't neglect our time together. It is more important now than ever. I love you son sleep in peace tonight.

Thank you God..

Nope....this is not an EMO post

2011-07-16T10:18:00.000+08:00

God...You know how much I love them and am missing them so much.....................................................except for Eric, I met him about 2 months ago..LOL
hahahahahahaha...just kidding!............my love is fair and square...XD

Gyver..........all the best in India!..I know you can..:)
Eric............you too, another great tough guy I ever met..you're like Britney Spears now, waking up from the darkest moment and find the hope of tomorrow..(control saiz punggung tu, jgn nak mbesar lps sy puji...XD)
Ricky & Melzie........Fighting!..

The Cutest Boy Of B-Shakerz

Speak To Your Mountains

2011-07-15T09:56:00.000+08:00

“And Jesus answered them, Truly I say to you, if you have faith (a firm relying trust) and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, Be taken up and cast into the sea, it will be done” (Matthew 21:21, AMP).

We’ve all had seasons when the challenges of life feel overwhelming. During those times, it’s easy to be tempted to talk about how bad things are. Maybe you received a bad medical report, maybe you've been rejected by all the universities that you applied or maybe you’re facing a financial obstacle. But the more you talk about something, the bigger it becomes in your mind. Instead, you’ve got to dig your heels in and say, “No, I am not going to give life to that defeat. I am not going to speak sickness over myself. I’m not going to speak lack. I’m not going to speak fear. I’m choosing a different report. I believe the report of the Lord which says I am blessed. I am favored. I am prosperous. I am healthy. I am whole. I’m a victor, not a victim.”

Remember, even if you don’t see how things could ever work out, God does. You’ve got to speak to those mountains in your life and declare favor over those situations. Instead of talking to God about how big your problems are, talk to your problems about how big your God is! As you speak to your mountains, they will be moved, and you will move forward into the victory God has prepared for you!

-Blessings-

Bersih.........?

2011-07-14T01:09:00.000+08:00

I don't know how many people that are so concern about Bersih rally or so-called-illegal rally last Saturday? If you ask me, yes I do concern about the rally. In fact, I am one of the bunch of people who are so kiasu to know the detail every single time. However, when I think carefully, there were certain parts in my mind that kept telling me that I'm disagree. Probably because I was afraid of the impacts that might happen to this country during and after the rally. I afraid of riots. I afraid of wars. I afraid of anything bad that might happen as the result of the rally. I wondered why there were some of my friends and people that I know, were so energetic and dedicated for this rally. In short, some of the people were arrested because they supported the rally, this made me even more scared.

However, after I went through some of the pure and actual experience of people who were joining the rally, I shamed of myself. There were so many reasons why people joining the rally but that actually is not my concern. It depends on them why they wanted to be there at the first place, but what really strike me is when I found one true story in which the person was in the rally and pointed some of the main reasons why did she joined it at the first place. The first moment I red her story, I felt ashamed.

The reason why she joining the rally was because she believe in justice and righteousness and willing to show it to the nation, or let put it in simple words, she wants a change in this country. Thats true, our country is not a safe country anymore. If you really believed in justice and righteousness, how much are you willing to show it? This question, you may ask yourself. I saw a violence during the rally via internet - tear gas, water cannons, etc. Although they went through some hard times due to this, it didn't discouraged them to continue voicing out their stand.

When the tear gas started, all the people were running away to avoid it, a man opened up the fire hose reel and sprayed over everyone to wash away the sting. When they were running into the bushes near the private hospital, everyone extending their hands to each other to haul and push each other up the slippery slopes. Somebody opened the gate so that the people could climb over. Still another man offered the umbrella to be shared despite of different religions and races. You really can see the application of 1 Malaysia in this situation, no need to use a banner or some cheap advertisements to tell the world about 1 Malaysia. Action is louder than words. It really reflects what is 1 Malaysia all about, something that our PM really proud of!

There was also a group of non-Christians who spontaneously started a prayer meeting in the heavy rain.

We have to accept the fact that our country is not safe anymore and is corrupted. If it was not corrupted, I think it is better for all the policemen and armies to have their pension right now. That is the very reason why Bersih was held, to request for a clean country. Seriously, I'm so tired with all the politics propaganda and so on. They have promised a lot of things but they never take the action seriously. And please! stop the bribe. Just demolish the Badan Pencegah Rasuah buildings if it didn't bring any change. And all the powerful people, stop doing what is bad if you know that kind of job is bad. We are humans not chimpanzee. We have the most powerful organ in the whole universe, brain..use it wisely then!

After knowing about all these things, I was ashamed of my myself. I do not dare enough to stand for what I believe.In fact, I ever asked myself whether I really support the rally or not. This is not another silly deed but the matter in which we dare enough to stand for what we believe or not. I'm not going to sit here and watching my beloved country decaying and corrupted day by day. I have to take an action to preserve my nations. God has called us to have a heart for the nations, not to keep for ourselves only. It is time to spread the love because this is what Malaysia needs, LOVE...

Found this in one of the Bersih blog..looking forward to see Optimus Prime join the next rally..(if got)..lol

-Blessings-

My GIF-ed Heechul

2011-07-11T08:57:00.001+08:00

Well, I've been experimenting a lot with GIF and now I have upgraded my skill by using a video clip to create a GIF..hahaha
Serious, GIF-ing is just so addictive and my first few trials were EPIC FAIL!..lol
Ayway, this is one of my 'creations'....seriously?....why Heechul?..hahaha..Don't ask, Don't tell, I'm just experimenting!
:)

-Blessings-

Pictures of The Right Moment....

2011-07-09T14:12:00.002+08:00

As I went through some pictures saved in my laptop while listening to Adele, Make You Feel My Love, it drove me to tears. I know myself when it comes to this aspect, a kind of sentimental guy..hoho..I hate to be this kind of guy but it can't be helped. This is real me....or what else can I say, I Borned This Way..:p

I went through a lot of memorable pictures, pictures that portrayed my life since the beginning of my college life. Because the pictures are sorted by date, so I could observe the stages of my growth from a boy next door to a boy-right-at-this-moment. Yeap, I went through a lot of memorable experiences, happy and sad, both are accumulated altogether. This makes me come to realization that I'm growing up..haha

Probably you'd think that I'm still not over with my college life. Yup, that is true. However, I want to make a clear statement here, I don't want to go back to that college again. No one would choose to go to that place again, wait until you see the reality and not fooled by some medias..haha..no offense

I just cannot forget all good memories that I've spent with all my awesome friends. In that college, I learnt how to make friend, humble myself, accept the weaknesses, serving Him full time, always strive for the best, to be a stronger person, to be a good leader, to love the outcasts, and everything. It is true indeed when someone said, I was there for a reason, not just another random event happened in my life. Although I couldn't fulfill my dream to do medic in India, this strengthen me when I realized that I learnt a lot for all this while.

Even though this is just so pathetic, I don't care as long I know there is someone who is still loving me and wanting the best for me. If the fact that I have to let go my dream to do medic is true, I accept it... fully accept it!..For I trust in the Lord that He prepares something bigger ahead of me. I might have prayed a lot of things for my own best, but He decided which one is the best for me that would bring glory to the Father. In our life, we could ask anything from Him and He would surely give it to us as long as this would bring glory to the Father. Remember, His will is the main matter here, not our own will.

Found these pictures, it was during the caroling..(2nd day)

p/s:oh my, enough with all the emo songs!..need to play the fast songs!!!!..XD

God's Letter...#2

2011-07-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

I keep this post for quite a long time already. I didn't know what to do but I didn't intend to keep this for myself. There were several times (mostly to be actual), I felt that God seems to be far away from me. I lost in the middle of the storm that came into my life continuously. The only person that I could recall when I was troubled by the storm was Jesus. I kept calling His name for help, although He didn't give me a direct answer all the time, He still come and comforts me, 1 thing for sure, He didn't come too late. As far as I concern, until today, I don't find 2011 is my excited year. For me, it is a year of testing, in which God tested me with a lot of trials. I do feel lonely, rejected and abandoned...but one day, I was overjoyed when received this from Him...

There are storm clouds in your life right now. It is dark tonight and the only light is from the occasional lightening. This won't last long. It is a passing storm. It is dark and a serious storm. You need to take shelter in me from the storm. It will not stay for long.

You have many sunny days ahead. You have a rainbow promise in your future. Weather the storm with me, huddle under my shelter and stay safe and warm. The storm is here but it can't really touch you as long as you stay under my protection. Wait it out and you will be back dancing in the sunshine in no time.

I love you my sunshine.

Thank you God...

God's Letter

2011-07-05T14:11:00.000+08:00

One night, I talked to God. I was lost and searching for the right path and stable ground to stand. I saw a lot of pains and sorrows, it hurts me too although I was not the victim. I prayed for them and this is what God said to me...

I did not bring the pain but I brought the healing. I did not bring the sin, but I brought the redemption. I am the answer to every problem.

I love you son and if you did not hurt a little for the people who are hurting around you, then you would not be who I created you to be. I gave you a heart for people, a compassion so you could love them, help them, pray for them. You are doing your job. Don't get stuck in the pain though. Your job is to go into the pain and bring them out. Your job is to remember that I am the answer and give me to them. Your job is to remember every time I brought you out of pain and terrible situations and give them that hope.

There is nothing that has happened or that will happen that I don't already know about and that I don't already have an answer planned out for. I have made a way out of every situation. I need you to help people see it. Be the hope and help point the way.

I love you son and I have heard your prayers. My ministering angels are visiting people right now. They are arriving in their homes, in the bars, in the many places where people are hurting tonight and they wrapping their arms around them.

I will be their hope. I will be their answer. You be my reflection and point them in my direction. I will catch each and every one as they fall. I love you and I promise I will never drop any of you.

Thank you God...

A Prayer for Strength

2011-07-04T23:03:00.002+08:00

O Lord,
In this time of need, strengthen me. You are my strength and my shield; You are my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. I know, Father, that Your eyes go to and fro throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts long for You. The body grows weary, but my hope is in You to renew my strength.
I do not fear, for You are with me.
I am not dismayed or overwhelmed, for You are my God. I know You will strengthen me and help me; that You will uphold me with Your righteous hand. Even as the shadows of illness cover me, I feel the comfort of Your strength, Or Lord.
Amen.

God works Quietly.....

2011-07-03T00:14:00.000+08:00

Shallom...
Well, I don't usually use this term except to my church members..haha..I'm not racist though, it's just that the environment tells me to use it or not to use it and I didn't address people with this term for quite a long time. I know, this term is so limitless, you can use it in any occasion. However, this is not the highlight for this post..:p

Ok, so I believe all of the believers should know about any part in the old testament. Yup, if you ask my opinion, I would rather read the old testament instead of the new testament. The new testament, of course, has the greatest story, the story of Jesus' life and after His death. But for me, the old testament is like a compilation of amazing and awesome bed-time-stories. It is like a novel and I don't have to go to any bookstore all months to get a new book..:D

Among of all the great stories in the old testament, my favorite story is the story of Queen Esther. This story centers on a dramatic story of a beautiful young Jewish girl who rises from obscurity to become queen of the Persian Empire. Esther, who concealed her family ancestry, ends up using a royal position to turn the tables on a plot to annihilate her people. The story is much more interesting if you read it by yourself. I'm not going to type the whole story here, it's going to be a very long post then..hahaha

The reason why this story is in the top of the list is because I don't see any God's appearance or God's name is not mentioned in it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not losing my faith and belief in God! It enhance my faith that God is working behind the scenes. This story is a great reminder that although God might appear to be absent, He still present, quietly working behind the scenes.

If you read the story, seriously you will not find any occasion where God appear before Esther to instruct and give her strength, not even Mordecai or King Xerxes, God didn't appear before them. But God worked quietly through them, leading them to their breakthrough. King Xerxes didn't just happen to have an insomnia or to discover that Mordecai was never rewarded, these were not random events. Events like this came about because God was working through them.

The event in which Esther became a queen was not also a random event. He chose Esther to be a queen to help her people. The best quote that I ever found in the story was when Mordecai told Esther that perhaps she was made as a queen for helping her people in such a time like this. This is true indeed, God make us to be something because He wants us to be a part of His will and to show that He still uses us no matter what position we are. God make you to be a teacher perhaps to make a difference in students life. God make you to be a taxi driver perhaps your passenger will be touched and saved. There are so many valid reasons for this. We might not know but He knows everything. He knows what is the best for us for He holds our future. Perhaps, at this moment you will not understand why you are chosen to be 'a thing' but in the future, you will definitely get the answer.

God doesn't always work through obvious means like 10 plagues or the parting of Red Sea. But whether we see or feel it, He always involved and at work in our lives.

-Blessings-

2011-07-02T16:58:00.002+08:00

It hurts me more than it hurts you..

I wish...

2011-07-02T00:54:00.000+08:00

I wish I could go to a place whereby I could experience infinite peace..
I wish I could run along the beach and feel the softness of the sands..
I wish I could jump from the cliff and continue swimming as if there is no one there to stop me..
I wish I could lie on a field of the most beautiful flowers have been planted in the earth..
I wish I could ride a lion and listen to their roaring..

I wish I could remove myself out of this situation..

Songs!...Again?

2011-06-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

These are few songs that cause my life so miserable right now!
hahaha..actually I can't get rid these songs out of my mind since the first time I listened to them..

#Love Song

This is the top song in my playlist..hahaha..I never bother when it came to Big Bang, in fact, I never know the existence of this group except for the 2 members, G-Dragon and TOP. Well, because of this song, I start to admire and love their musics..^_^

#Last Friday Night (tgif)

Serious!..I have no idea what is happening right now!..I'm not a huge fan of Katy Perry. The only reason why I keep watching the music video all over again is just to spot Darren Criss and Rebecca Black..Hey, I CAN'T FIND DARREN CRISS! are you sure he is in the music video?

#The Ballad of Mona Lisa

Ok, I really love Panic at The Disco when the first time I listened to them, probably 5 years ago..^^

#Smile...(Charlie Chaplin cover)

Yup, I know it is an old song, but it's nothing wrong in listening to this kind of song right?

#Beribu Sesalan

This is a Malay song. The first time I watched them perform in live, wow, I couldn't describe anything. The song is just so perfect with their vocal and I fall in love..LOL

#Tuhan Pasti Sanggup

This is a worship song and still new in my playlist..(just found it yesterday). Know that this song really comforting me a lot after what had happened in my life lately...:D

Tuhan Pasti Sanggup

2011-06-29T15:34:00.000+08:00

Kuatkanlah hatimu

Lewati setiap persoalan

Tuhan Yesus s'lalu menopangmu

Jangan berhenti berharap pada-Nya

Tuhan pasti sanggup

Tangan-Nya tak 'kan terlambat 'tuk mengangkatmu

Tuhan masih sanggup

Percayalah Dia tak tinggalkanmu

Tuhan pasti sanggup

Tangan-Nya tak 'kan terlambat 'tuk mengangkatmu

Tuhan masih sanggup

Percayalah Dia masih sanggup

Percayalah Dia tak tinggalkanmu

Percayalah, Percayalah

(Kita harus percaya)

Percayalah Dia 'kan mengangkatmu

Super Juniors Of KTT?

2011-06-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today, specifically this morning, the super juniors were registering in KTT to start their life as KTT students..lol. this sounds so 'skema'...(in English i think it is NERD)
Anyway, I want to clarify that I don't miss KTT, I'm just missing all the awesome people who are still there.
Haha.. 1 year ago, I was so excited to welcome all the juniors. I woke up early the day that they registered. Got ready for Campus Revo 1st, then spent a little time to pray for the bunch of juniors who would be coming that day. When about 7.30 am I guess, I saw a junior came, Bibiana or also be known as a Die-Hard Kpop Fan..LOL. Luckily I know her before she entered KTT. Next, things get busier as many of them had arrived and yeah, I made sure that they always enjoy their orientation..haha

Ok, the super juniors are none of my business anymore. It is the junior batch to take care of them. They will lead the way and if they need any help, I will be honored to offer my help..:D

Among hundred of super juniors, there is only one that I know...because this little fella added me in FB..lol
I really have no idea how did he bump into my profile..>.<'

well..this is my memory with juniors in my group. We won the first place. Thanks to them also for making this dream came true and became the most 'obedient' juniors..lol..I know, I was a bit demanding at that time..XD

Psalm 13

2011-06-27T14:12:00.000+08:00

Do you still remember my previous post about the youth event that I've been participated last Saturday? If you don't, you may scroll down a bit and you shall find the post..LOL
Ok, for this post, I just want to share the song that we composed for the performance. The song was inspired fully from the book of Psalm chapter 13.
However, the song is in Malay (Bahasa Malaysia), if you find it is hard to understand, please refer your English Bible..:D

Berapa lama lagi Ku harus,
Menaruh kekuatiran,
Dalam hidup Ku, bersedih hati.

Berapa lama lagi,
Musuh Ku meninggikan diri,
Oh Tuhan tolonglah Aku,
Jawablah doa Ku.

Buat mata Ku bercahaya,
Setiap masa supaya Ku tak,
Tertidur dan terus mati.

Jangan biarkan Iblis menjatuhkan Aku,
Oh Tuhan, ubah hati Ku,
Untuk mengenal-Mu.

Well, this is something that people may proud of. Although this is not that big or extravagant, but when someone manage to compose a song based on God's words especially from the book of Psalm, you are totally Rock! Just imagine, there is no celebrity that ever sing or compose this kind of song and you are the first human in history did this, I think God must be so proud of you.

In addition, every of His follower should has a personal song in their life so that the song will help you during the darkest hour of your life. Remember apostle Paul? He sang hymns during his darkest hours and miracles happened after that. Don't worry, you don't have to tell the whole world about your personal song or about your not so nice talent in singing, its only between you and Him..:)

BEM (SIB) Youth Welcoming!

2011-06-26T10:59:00.000+08:00

On Friday night, around 11.40 pm I received a text from my friend, Glance. He said that he would pick me up at 7.30 a.m the next day (Saturday) for a youth event at the main church building of SIB. I was shocked when received his text, it happened so fast in the last minute. I also been told that he just knew about this and what I can say that, this youth event was something that was just so sudden. Everything happen in spontaneous, the band recruited last minute (i guess), the backup singers recruited probably few hours before the event started and not many youths knew about this event. Some of them only knew few minutes before it started, some were asked to get ready as the transport would arrive in any minute, some came in the middle of event in which it was at the afternoon. And this event was a whole day event, morning until evening..=.='
*yup...you're right, I yawned several times when the event started*

However, I'm glad that I could be a part for this event. I can't really recall my last time joining our youth activity, probably when I was 17 I guess, that is so 3 years ago. There is a lot of things that I learned from the activity. Of course the event started with praise and worship first, then time for God's word. Actually, according to the original tentative, the first activity was a little simple game, but I don't know what happen, they shifted the games to 1.30 p.m, right after we having lunch and rest. Probably because there were so few of youth came in the morning..(yup, as I say it happened so fast and sudden, only few knew)

Anyway, the praise and worship was great, the whole family was recruited for the band..hahaha.. The lead singer was the youngest brother, the guitarist was the 2nd brother, the drummer was the 1st brother, the back up singer was their sister and a cousin..wow!..The wonder of God's gift..:)

Oh ya, before I forgot, the person that preached the God's words was their mom. hahaha.. Everyone of their family involved in serving for the event except for their father. Maybe the father has something to do.

Next, we were divided to four groups in which they did it in a random way. So I was grouped in the blue team, a team of strangers..hahaha..seriously, I didn't know all of them except for 2 girls, one from the same church and one more I ever talked to her 3 years ago..hahaha.. Anyway, I made friend with all of them and I found that 3 of them actually are my juniors from my secondary school. Oh my, there are so grown up..lol..They look much more mature than I was when about their age..=.='

We were given an assignment. They instructed us to choose a chapter from Psalm, so we've decided to settle on Chapter 13. A few moment later, they gave us the real assignment. We have to create a performance, no matter whether it was a show choir, musical, dancing, singing and etc etc. Oh my, luckily we chose a quite easy chapter, we decided to just perform a song based on Chapter 13. Guess what, we managed to compose a new original song in just less than 30 minutes!..yay..haha..The rhythm was quite nice and the lyrics was inspired, of course, by the whole Chapter 13. Thank God we have 2 musicians in our group (actually people that know how to play a guitar)..So, we would be performing at 3 p.m later.

(Forward button has been pressed)..XD

Ok, 1.30 p.m was the time for games. This was the moment which everyone has been waiting for. For the 1st game, we were given a lot of old newspapers and they called it as a Fashion Show Game. We were asked to design Roman costumes based on the bible. The best part was, we're not allowed to use any stationery to design the costumes, that means glue,paper clips,stapler were not allowed to use. So we have to fold fold fold the newspapers until it became stable, it was so hard to do. When we talked about Romans, of course we would think of Mohawk, skirts for male and female, helmet with some sort of broom on top of it?, dress, sandals,swords and so many more.

Ok, they actually my juniors..:)

Then, we moved to the 2nd game which was called as The Babel Tower. We have to build a tower by using the leftover newspapers. For this game, they gave us a chair so that anyone who was 'forced' to be a tower could increase their height..lol

Actually, we learnt something unexpected from these games. Co-operation of course was something that was undeniable to be learned from these. For the 1st game, we learned that, although we might not have the full knowledge of something, we still have Jesus to be an Idol and depends on. When we talked about Romans, we might not have a full knowledge about it as we were not live at that moment. For the 2nd game, we learned that humans are so hard to be contented. They always want more, more and more. However, only in Jesus we can find the full contentment.

After we finished with all the games, it was time for a Psalm Performance. We were the second group to perform and we barely remember the rhythm of our new song..lol..Fortunately we could recall the rhythm few minutes before our turn. We also perform the 2nd song, Yesus Kupercaya. Actually it's from Actsperiment and I kind of happy when they decided to bring this song knowing that they were inspired by the song during the Revo Bintulu.

Ok..last activity was, the celebration!..yay..When we talked about celebration, of course it would be something happy, singing, jumping, shouting, screaming and so on..lol..I almost lost my voice after the celebration..XD

So, the event was over around almost 5 p.m..The first thing I did when I came home was to get my handsome bath..hahahahaha..I was so tired by the the whole day activity. I barely have enough energy to walk, watch TV and even to eat. I don't know, we didn't run all over the places but I still feel the full tiredness. Anyway, I'm still proud and happy to be a part of this event. There will be another Youth Event in August, probably it's a camp..:)

Oh my, my English getting worse now, must get more books to read..><'

My 1st GIF

2011-06-23T09:21:00.001+08:00

ok..haha..this is not funny at all.
After inspired by my Noona Farah and got some tips from Ahjumma Melzie, finally I managed to create some animation image or image with a format gif. I created a few but this one is my favorite..:p

Facebook Games?

2011-06-22T15:25:00.000+08:00

I have to admit that I am really addicted to Facebook games. Because I don't really have any crucial things to do and my daily life is spent mostly in front of my laptop so I always try new games featured in Facebook..lol
I WARN YOU!...if you want to proceed just go ahead as I am going to post few games that I really enjoyed since I signed up for this account..lol
*my goodness, this is so childish talking about games..>.<*

hahaha....

So here it is in randomly order..

Plumet 2

I started playing this game just few minutes ago. It is kind of addictive and I wonder why the avatar has to fall down to get the points?..lol
That is why it is called game....

Fruit Slasher

hahaha..this is the cutest game that I ever played. Of course you will have points if you slashed the fruits, but I always try to slash the hamster although it would finish the game faster. I found slashing hamsters kind of adorable..lol

Castle Age

This one is the longest addiction. I think I've been playing this game for over a year plus something. I stop playing this during my A2 season, that is so last year. This is my dream game, involved all the fantasy creatures and journeys..

I bet this is enough, sharing my top 3 games..:)

L.O.S.T

2011-06-21T00:08:00.000+08:00

I wake up every morning to realize there's this distance between us that stops me from being who I am. I may lose it here and there but you keep me calm and collected when all falls apart.

I encountered this quote when I was ~~stalking~~ reading my friend's blog post. I don't know why, the moment I red the quote, I felt somehow related. Mainly is about what had happened to me for more than half a year. I keep telling myself to be calmed and compromised all the time but it didn't work well though. I know there must be a missing ingredient or part, if it wasn't, I wouldn't have to suffer all the time. If I were to draw my graph of life, there would be a stiff peak at the top and another stiff peak at the bottom, it's not just once but multiples. The peaks, perhaps, represent my emotions, it can be something else though. When I was in church last Sunday, I didn't pay much attention to the sermon, as a result, it didn't really impact me and until now I couldn't relate it to the stuff in my life. However, the praise and worship moment was something that I really appreciate. Even though it was just a song but I felt it, as if God was trying to have a conversation with me. It's not the entire song, just a chorus part. Although my plan is somehow not lining up with His plan, I'll always believe there must be a greater event waiting ahead of me. For I know He holds my future and I don't have to worry about anything.

Ubahlah kami Bapa,
Bentuklah kami Bapa,
Jadikan kami sesuai dengan firman-Mu
Ubahlah kami Bapa,
Bentuklah kami Bapa,
Jadikan kami sama seperti Yesus.

If You Just Smile..:)

2011-06-19T20:56:00.000+08:00

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by

If you smile through your pain and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through

For you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying

You'll find that life is worthwhile

If you just Smile..:)

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

2011-06-19T08:20:00.000+08:00

I need a break...
I'm not giving up...
I'm just tired...

.....

2011-06-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

When We Try To Escape

2011-06-13T15:44:00.000+08:00

According to some psychiatrists, the higher number of suicide among men is not an unusual trend. When it comes to dealing with their problems, men don't tend to seek help, thus pushing into a deeper depressive spiral.

Its true indeed. I need not to see any example for this if I myself is the best example. Honestly, I prefer to keep every single thing or problem in my heart. I never bother to seek any help or share with someone I know. Frankly speaking, I never trust anyone (before) when it came to this matter. It was so hard for me to have the confidence that other person might have a solution for my problem. I understood that they have their own problems and I didn't want to trouble them again with my problems, you know..like you're adding another burden on their shoulder.

Finally I found that, I was so depressed in keeping all the problems inside my heart and to be alone. I was craving for people to listen to my problems but I still didn't have any trust on them. There was a point when I was really-really fed up. Thankfully I didn't choose the decision that might cause me to regret for all my life.

What I'm trying to say that, there is a group of people outside there labelled in this category. We are afraid to tell people that we have a problem. There are some probabilities that lead men to behave like this. Take me for example, the reason why I don't like to tell people about my problem is the fear of being judged. That is the main reason why I always keep every little of my problem in my heart. I couldn't expect what people would think of me.

However, as I grew older, miraculously I started to be open. I started to trust people knowing that they might know some advices to be given to me for my hard times. I started to share my problems with some people, especially my leaders or mentors. It wasn't that bad as I expected. The people that I've been shared before, they never judge me in which it built my confidence to trust other people. Maybe because I surrounded by people who understand me better. Plus, I started to know deeply about my faith in which it helps me a lot.

Give you burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the Godly to slip and fall.
Psalm 55 : 22

-Blessings-

Just Be Yourself, You Are Wonderful

2011-06-12T10:33:00.000+08:00

Ok..lets do some unique activity here. I believe that all of us already went through a lot of questions in exams, no matter whether it is Biology, English, History, Arts and so many more. One of the questions that I really hate the most is describing and explaining questions. You know, like you are given a graph, picture and etc, then they asked you to describe and explain. Most of the time, I was having the difficulty to analyze the subject and thus making it hard for me to answer the question or even to get the full mark.

So here, Please describe and explain the picture above.
Don't worry I won't use exam format to answer this simple question..XD

Well, the picture portrayed a man holding a strip of paper saying that 'Just Be Yourself:You are Wonderful'
FYI, this words are everything to me. It affects me, mostly in all parts of my life. 10 years ago, I was just an ordinary little boy. I didn't know how to put on the interesting attire. I didn't know how to use a computer. I didn't have any physical attractions. I wasn't that smart or what I can say, I was bad in academic. I didn't involve in any rough activity. I didn't play football with my friends.

In short, I was nobody. Nobody listened to me. I always try to talk or point out my views but in the end, nobody cares as if I was an Invisible boy in this world. It hurts when nobody listened to you. I felt the abandonment was just so heavy and high and sometimes I just gave up with my life. Its so unusual for a 10 years old boy to feel that way but I felt it when I was 10.

I always live in fear to know that I might not have any accompany or friend in my life. How am I going to live my life when nobody listen to me? This question kept lingering in my mind. I hate myself. I hate to be me. I hate my life. I hate my friends. I hate my family. I live with all these negativeness.

Therefore, in order to get a glimpse of attention, I always pretending to be someone else. I admired my friends who have a nice body built. I admired my friends who have a fine face. I admired my friends who are so brilliant in academic. I admired my friends who know how to converse with other people very well. I admired my friends who always represented my school. There was a moment, I wanted to be a perfect person like them. It came to a point that I realized, it wasn't me anymore. I didn't have originality as I kept 'cloning' myself to become like them.

Only 2 years ago I realized that, I did a lot of amazing things. (not to boast).. I became one of the best students in my school. I became one of the best dancers not only in my school but also in a town. I represented school in various events in which I managed to make my school famous. I also represented my state, Sarawak in Physics Quiz and Bible Quiz, and for Physics Quiz I got merit certificates, acknowledging students who got best marks for the quiz. (come to surprise that, I really hate Physics now)..

I did many wonderful things. I don't have to be somebody else to get the best achievement. Once, I hate a person in front of me when I stood in front of mirror. But now, I am proud of that person. Besides, I received a lot of compliments saying that, I am a lovely boy, I have the beautiful smile, I have quite impressing body-built...It is so wonderful for me to receive these kind of compliments for a boy-next-door like me.

Nowadays, I have a confidence that I'm wonderful. Thanks to lovely people in my life that keep reminding me about how beautiful I am.

Apparently, this is me, taken 2 weeks after my 20th birthday..:)

-Blessings-

Funny Picture

2011-06-11T09:39:00.000+08:00

I know, this is so-not-me but its nothing wrong when we having a leisure time though..:D
I found one picture in which the picture was so indescribably unique (my opinion) and funny...
Here it is:

Enjoy..
^_____^

Specific Advice

2011-06-08T15:22:00.000+08:00

Despite of what had happened recently (my family truck was stolen), my mom did tell me a very good advice indeed..:

Do not show your sorrow to the people. If you do, you behaved as if there is no God in your life and there is no point you pray to God to get the joy and peace. Everything happen for a reason. We might not know but we can sure that God is in control. And don't blame others if we lost something...

Yeah, it was like a wake up call for me when heard this advice came out from my mom. Its not that my mom never point out good advices, its just that the advice is so complementary for a specific occasion.

God works in mysterious ways.....

Quick Post v 1.02

2011-06-05T20:02:00.000+08:00

Its been quite a long time I didn't update anything yet..
This is due to all the busyness in my life and preparation for Harvest Festival..
Am so sorry, I don't have any proper pictures for the festival as you should know when you went back to a real hometown, there is no proper electricity connection!
Hopefully you can connect this..haha

I was extremely tired physically and emotionally for this year festival.
Went back to both hometowns (parents hometown) and the distance is so far away!
Dad in ~~of course~~ Bintulu and Mom in Sarikei.
But I'm so happy to go to Sarikei as my mom's longhouse has a proper electricity connection..:)
So no worry when my phones were running out of battery..XD

While we were still in my mom's longhouse, my dad received a phone call from my uncle telling us that our palm oil truck was stolen!
It happened while all of us still away from our home..(my uncle just live next to our house)
Sad?....of course....
I saw my dad worked extremely hardworking to pay the truck's rental and its not that cheap!
What do you expect when you have to pay a property with 4 DIGITS PRICE!
This is not included my dad's car, house, bills, debts and so many more..
What I can say that, our family business still don't achieve above safe point profits and it is still unstable.
That is the main reason why I don't agree to inherit the business in the future because I'm so stupid in all the business stuff~
I just let my siblings or cousins to take care of it...

The only thing that we can do (except police report) is to pray.
Hopefully we can find the truck as soon as possible.
The truck meant so much to our family...It was my late grandpa's dream to own a truck before he passed away.........

What was the happiest moment in your life?

2011-05-31T00:37:00.001+08:00

when I found the Hope before me..:)

Ask me anything

2011-05-30T19:09:00.002+08:00

give me a break

2011-05-30T13:08:00.000+08:00

I know I've made some crucial decisions in a pathetic moment, but this is the best for both of us. You are my best buddy indeed but without any conscious, you've been torturing me from inside out. I will treasure everything. All the best as you are about to enter your new season of life...

John 4:14

2011-05-28T20:19:00.000+08:00

Double Celebrations

2011-05-26T16:12:00.002+08:00

This year birthday was quite unique and interesting compared to last year..:)
Well, they organized it during my trip to Kuching for the IMU interview, so brilliant!
Why did I say it is unique and interesting?
This is because we're celebrating the birthday at McD!
First time in my life I celebrated my birthday at fast food restaurant..hahaha

Actually, it wasn't just my birthday celebration. We were celebrating DOUBLE BIRTHDAY!
Eshabell and I...
^_____^

Eshabell didn't know that the celebration was also dedicated to her at the very first, It was only came to realization when they mention Esha's name for the birthday song..GOTCHA!!!!

The birthday cake written HB E&W

Esha & me

Looking for a spot for a cut..:)

Here it is!

Thanks for making the precious moment.

^_____^

p/s: Noona Farah, thanks for the shirt again!..:D

IMU Interview

2011-05-24T18:16:00.003+08:00

Well..its been quite a long time that I didn't update my blog. Pretty busy for past few weeks and nothing to be shared here...T____T
Feel so sad....my life is so dull lately.

However, last Saturday I went to Kuching for an interview from IMU. For some people, it is just the matter of something or normal interview. However, for me it is a life-changing. After the most-unacceptable moment happened to me on the early 2011, this chance has given me a hope to continue my life. I'm tired of denying myself to be calmed although I wasn't. I'm tired of waiting the mail. I'm tired of listening to all the people who have badmouthed me. I'm tired to keep the hatred and grudge as I'm not supposed to do so. I'm tired of everything in short.

Straight to the point, it was a miracle for me when I've received a call from IMU telling me to get ready for an interview. I thought it was impossible for me to success in applying IMU for not achieving the minimum requirement but this is totally a miracle. God has shown me that He is able to do anything.

A night before the interview, I was totally and freaking nervous! Even Eric could detect and realize the change within me. I was lost and totally unnavigable, not sure what would happen during the interview. I was afraid from failing to answer every of their question. I really couldn't expect what kind of questions would be asked. I really couldn't accept if they asked questions that are similar to my previous interview,JPA. It was a total madness.

Luckily I received a call from Melzie, a night before an interview. She gave me several tips and type of questions that would be asked. I'm glad to hear that and at least I've gained some confidence to go for the interview. So, after I finished reading everything, I went to bed. It wasn't easy as I thought. I couldn't sleep properly and I thought I was having an insomnia that night. Well, I couldn't do much except of praying A LOT!

Sunday morning........
We have promised Melzie to come early for the interview and it was held at the Riverside Majestic Kuching. If I was not mistaken, Eric and I arrived around past 9.30 am and Melzie was a little bit earlier. I was so happy when I saw Melzie sitting at the lobby waiting for us. It's been a long time I didn't see her face to face. As usual, we would laugh first when we met..haha

I was scheduled to be interviewed at 10.20 am and Melzie was right after me. We went to 18th floor in which the interview and roadshow was held and the lady asked us to get ready. I was like WHAT!..it still not even 10 yet!..huhu

So we waited outside the room and the lady comforted us..(such a sweet lady)

I was nervous but not that critical. Maybe because of Melzie was there too..haha..We chatted a bit first, then we prayed. After the prayer, I received a calmness a little bit. A few minutes later, I saw a guy before me came out from the room and yup, It was my turn after him. So I went inside with the lady and she introduced me to the 2 interviewers, Prof Peter and Doc Leong. Surprisingly, I wasn't that nervous as before. I wasn't that sure but I definitely have a boldness and courage.

The interviewers were totally different as I expected. You know, like a typical interviewers - fierce face, emotionless face, bald, 1 pack..haha, and etc etc. But both of them are totally different. They are so friendly and easy to talk. They tried their hard to make the interview informal. I was sitting BETWEEN them NOT IN FRONT of them, haha..we're sitting on the couch and I felt so comfortable and it wasn't as if an interview at all..haha..Their first question was, 'How to pronounce your name?'..so,I taught them how to call me and we agreed to just use Willy for the whole interview..;)

One thing that I realized, they always smile when looking at me, in which it boosted my confidence level. Well, about the questions that had been asked, it wasn't hard at all. As usual, they asked my background, the reason why I want to be a doctor and qualities of a good doctor. Actually, we did chat for casual topics in the middle of interview, we talked about football!..haha..Luckily I started to show an interest in football after spending my time with my dad.

Lastly, they gave me a situation. the situation was..: Imagine you are working in Emergency Department. One night there was an accident and you were rushing to the accident site. Then, you realized it was your wife's car and your wife was inside. Surprisingly, there was a guy next to your wife and he is your wife's boyfriend, they were having an affair secretly. They were still alive but were injured in different conditions. Your wife would definitely dead no matter how hard you tried to save her. The guy was badly bleeding and can be saved but must be saved quickly. If you tried to save your wife first, the guy would definitely dead due to loss of blood. You were alone.....What is your decision?

I really could imagine the situation but it was hard for me to decide. There was a quite moment before I started talking. Then I have decided my decision and told them confidently. Actually there is no right or wrong answer, they just wanted to know my decision. I told them I would save the boyfriend and I explained after that. They seem so curious to know my decision and explanations. They didn't question my explanations and they even asked me what did I learn from the situation.

The interview was done after the situation question. Before I left the room, they gave me their personal point of views about me. I was happy when listening to their views. I never feel so excited and appreciated. They have brightened my day and give me hope. Even until now, I still remember their words about me. It is so amazing and memorable. I would never forget their word at the last moment of interview, 'We are here not to look for another intelligent doctor, we are here to look for another passionate doctor..You can be a very good doctor in the future Willy'...Seriously, this is spectacular! I never imagine a real doctor said that epic sentence to me.

I would be so happy if my dream will come true, if this is God's will.
Anyway, throughout all the obstacles before, He has made me able.
^____^

From left: Farah, Me, Melzie

Just <3 this picture..nothing else..haha

-Blessings-

What was your favorite childhood meal?

2011-05-23T23:12:00.001+08:00

Fried rice..with a soy sauce..:)

Ask me anything

Are you single??

2011-05-21T20:24:00.001+08:00

hahaha..no one interested of me..XD

Ask me anything

w.i.l.y.n.s.t.e.e

Specially For You...

How to spell H-E-C-T-I-C

I should quit...perhaps

back To Basic

Ehmm..that would be interesting..

Well...sometimes we're driven by something

Blessed Christmas!

Campus Life Update

Not So Favorable Week...

Life Plan

Awesome Video

Discipling

I Simply Want To Upload Some Pictures

Hello...

Unproductive Day

New Journey

Quick Post v 1.04

Quick Post v 1.03

Sunday Reflection

11/11/11

!?

I Don't Feel Wanted

Thankful...

!?

Someone Like You

Me & Pokemon are Best-Friends..^^

amnsjyr

o.o

Summary For The Weekend

Sunday Reflection

:)

:)

:)

Wake Up Call

:)

To Someone Out There

We Expect to be The One

Till I See You

Reflection

Keep The Faith

Best Love

FB Status

Best Love

You Are My Father

Spiritual Busyness

Always a Random post..:p

The moment when I realized after I woke up~

Another Random Post..:p

Another Random Post..:p

My friend said...

Flirting is a habit for those who are single; it is their way of saying I am free.But for those who are committed, it is their way of saying I am bored.

Nothing Special here...

Truth

Personality Patterns

Scrupulous

Unflappable

Upbeat

Responsible

Calm

Sympathetic

Friendly

Warm

Cooperative

Understanding

Happy Friendship Day

Summary Of My Daily Life

Perfect?

Everyone is Special

Bye Bye buddies!

Wonderful Maker

Faith Without Action is Dead

God's Letter...#3

Nope....this is not an EMO post

Speak To Your Mountains

Bersih.........?

My GIF-ed Heechul

Pictures of The Right Moment....

God's Letter...#2

God's Letter

Flirting is a habit for those who are single; it is their way of saying I am free.
But for those who are committed, it is their way of saying I am bored.